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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Good day, I am in business with my husband, which often

Resolved Question:

Good day,

I am in business with my husband, which often means that frustrations lead to arguments.
Many times the final aggression leads to man hitting woman. It had stopped for many months but has started again, about 4 times in 6 weeks.We stay with his family and it has been done infront of them also.Married for 6 years and have 2 kids. He does have a "temper problem" which means that even if im not wrong in a situation, i should just keep quiet so that he doesnt hit me...i am the argumentative type and will not be told that im wrong if i am right. kindly advise on how i should approach situation as i feel like im i am going into depression, my son has started stuttering and shows acts of violence towards other people. kindly advise on how i should approach the situation.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Your approach to an extent may relate to what your husband does. IF he continues to abuse you, the best and idealistic option would be to leave. Otherwise, you would want to seek professional help ex: marital therapy. He would have to be willing to work on his temper. Whether you're argumentative or not should not matter. What matters is his abuse and lack of self control. When he is trying to argue with you, let him know that you will talk to him when he's calm. Do not engage in a power struggle even if you know for a fact that you're correct. Choose your battles. Do you want to prove him wrong or do you want to assist him in staying calm?

 

If other family members are aware of his anger problem, you may want to have an in home intervention (where you gather close family members and confront him on his behavior and how it is affecting you and your son)

 

If he is able to talk about his triggers (when he is not angry), find some time to go over facts and see if he would take responsibility for his actions. If he denies and refuses to accept your feedback, there is not much you can do to "make him" do anything. He has to at least acknowledge his behavior as harmful to the marriage and your son.



Edited by Dr Rossi on 11/16/2010 at 2:41 PM EST
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thank you for your assistance, will take into consideration what you've mentioned in order to at least stop the arguing that leads to the fighting.

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