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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for about a

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My boyfriend and I have been dating off and on for about a year. He has broken up with me three times- the first time so he could focus on school (he's an extremely dedicated med student with a 4.0 gpa) and the last couple of times seemed to be because he was unsure of how much he cared for me. He says now that he realized we were moving too fast because we were only freshman but we were practically already living together. Anyways when we're together he often does sweet things to make me happy and he seems very devoted because he likes to spend almost all of his free time with me. He says now that he has calmed down and realized that he was really stupid for breaking up with me and that he's lucky that I'm so forgiving and that nobody "snatched" me up while we were apart. He seems a lot more mature now but I thought everything was great before we broke up too. I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus since our last break up so I've been trying my best to give him his space when he needs it and not to be overbearing. After the last breakup we took things slower and dated for a few months and about a month ago now he gave me flowers and asked me to be his girlfriend. Should I trust him to be committed? Are there any signs I can notice that indicate that he truly loves me and is committed?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

It would be wiser not to trust someone completely. People change. His priorities in the past had been his main focus. Now, he's realizing he also wants a relationship with you. As long as you are the his main priority and not his other obligations, then you can know that he loves you. From what you've described it seems that he is someone trying to figure out what he wants and in what order. You've been forgiving and that should not be taken for granted.

 

You would have to look for his behavior and not always what he says. Actions are what provide tangible proof of someone's intentions. Having had several break ups within a year or so is somewhat of a red flag. Is he coming to you because you provided unconditional acceptance/affection while he was trying to figure out what he wanted or is he not ready for commitment at this time of his life. These would be things for you to look into. Perhaps he is still growing up emotionally and you're showing him how to do that.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Well for the past few months since we started dating again he's contacted me at least once everyday to hang out and for the past few weeks he's been wanting me to stay over at his place more and more. Should this be a good sign or could it be that we are falling back into a habit that could freak him out again?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.
Past behavior generally predicts future behavior. Showing interest in you is a good thing as long as he and you during this stage figure out what you want from the relationship and ensure things don't fall back as they did in the past. Only when the causes for past falling out are addressed would the two of you be able to make progress that is more long lasting.
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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