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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Im seeing someone who lives 3000 miles away. Ive given us

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I'm seeing someone who lives 3000 miles away. I've given us a deadline of January to figure out a solution. In the meantime, I've met someone I have a lot of chemistry with. We've only been out once, but have been flirty back and forth. I told him I'm seeing someone in NY but the flirting continues and is getting a little more bold. I kind of want to just say something a long the lines of "Can I just be brutally honest? I like you. I'm really enjoying getting to know you, but that's just all it can be until I figure out what to do about the NY guy." I want to keep the option open and not scare him away. It's definitely a bit forward and presumptuous, but I don't want to be hiding a boyfriend in NY and sabotage both relationships. Or is it too late for that already? The Ny guy is great when we are together, but I don't want to be in a long distance thing for much longer.

Hi,

 

While you're figuring out what you want, you're not obligated to put your cards down. First, found out what this new person is seeking and if it matches with what you want. Maybe he is not seeking a serious relationship but to fool around.

 

If you absolutely do not want to be in a long distance relationship, then end it. There is no point going around in circles because that would give mixed messages to the other party involved.

 

Flirting is not necessarily a sign of something big coming up. Familiarize yourself with this new person if you're interested in them before you make your decision. There is nothing wrong with being friendly with someone.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
What's a good way to find out where his heads at in terms of something serious with out getting too serious on him so early. He had a serious girlfriend for awhile on and off but she's some model/actress type. He seems to be a bit of a player, but then again he's newly single so he's allowed to be.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
What's a good way to find out where his heads at in terms of something serious with out getting too serious on him so early. He had a serious girlfriend for awhile on and off but she's some model/actress type. He seems to be a bit of a player, but then again he's newly single so he's allowed to be. How do I keep it light and flirty but find out if I'm wasting time with him?

As you get to know him a bit more, ask him open ended questions ex: what are his goals for his work/life style, where does he see himself in 2 years, etc. The responses will give you an idea of what his priorities are at this time in his life. You can also set a time frame for yourself ex 3-4 months and see where things go.

It's not a total waste of your time if you're enjoying yourself.
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