1. Get a positive support system in place for yourself which includes loved ones and friends you can trust and share this experience with and who will also help you through it in a loving and non-judgmental manner. Also, consider attending a local support group to help you through this difficult time.
2. You are dealing with various normal emotions due to being separated from someone you were once so close to before the two of you grew apart, therefore, if possible, I recommend going to see a therapist, counselor, etc., in person on a weekly basis to help you deal with this (-especially your guilt along with any hurt, depression, confusion, frustration, anger, etc. that you may naturally feel). If you are religious, your place of worship may have free counseling available (-many churches have free counseling).
3. Write down how you feel in a journal. Then close out each writing session by meditating: close your eyes, breathe in deeply and exhale. At the same time think of something peaceful. For example: a bright blue ocean with deep rich blue waves gently whispering against the beach. Meditating will help you through this difficult time and it will also help you to heal from your guilt. Also writing down you feelings in a journal is therapeutic because it allows you to get your emotions out and onto paper thereby providing a release for you.
4. Lastly, a few books I recommended to my clients dealing with the same situation, which they found helpful, can be found by below:
Book 1. Book 2.
Be sure to write in your journal the different emotions and memories you have as you read through the book in order to continue the therapeutic process to help you heal and move on. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but slowly and surely you will be able to overcome this.