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Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Psychologist, Hypnotherapist & Divorce Coach providing marital therapy for over 20 years.
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I have no confidence in myself. Im currently in a relationship

Resolved Question:

I have no confidence in myself. I'm currently in a relationship where I worry and feel paranoid. I even feel paranoid about what people think of me. I'm scared that I bore my boyfriend, to an extent I have to look up things on the internet to talk about or I copy facebook status's to appear interesting. I'm scared that I don't send interesting enough texts. I don't know what to do! I really like my boyfriend, and this low-self esteem is ruining my life. I feel like crying all the time, but I put on a front with my boyfriend. I'm scared if I talk to him about it he'll be scared away because we've only been going out for 2 months. Guys want confident girlfriends not idiots like me. Please help me.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.


I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time. The first step is to find out what may be causing this lack of confidence. I wonder if you may be having other symptoms as well that could point to depression and/or anxiety. A good idea is to have a physical, including bloodwork to rule out a thyroid condition or other medical problem that may be contributing to your mood. If there are no medical problems then seeing a psychologist to find out what may be causing you to be so negative about yourself would be important. It is hard to deal with something until you know what it is. If indeed you are suffering from an emotional issue, therapy can be very effective to help you to learn to feel your feelings in a safe way and develop tools to improve your mood as well as your confidence. The more confident you are and the more you like yourself the more others will be attracted to you. Medication may or may not be needed and can be discussed with your therapist. Other tools such as exercise, eating healthy, structuring your days with some social interaction, meditation, volunteering and working can all be quite helpful. Sometimes the pain of feeling the way you do can be a good motivator to help you to do something about the problem and find out what is wrong. You should not have to pretend to be someone else or try so hard for someone to like you. They should be able to like you for who you are. I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.


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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
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