How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Angela Your Own Question

Angela
Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Angela is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Do you ever really get over a divorce I was married almost

Resolved Question:

Do you ever really get over a divorce? I was married almost 3 years and have been divorced for 5. He was verbally and emotionlly abusive. He has a lot of anger issues and in the end told me I didn't love him and said divorce was best for both of us. I never wanted the divorce until he cheated on me. Then I figured if he wanted out that bad he could go. He then said it was my fault because I didn't want to work on it. Thankfully we didn't have children, and I have never seen him since.

I remarried 2 years ago and he's an awesome man. But every November (the ex filed in November and it was finalized right before thanksgiving) I get the blues and find myself thinking about my first marriage. It doesn't last long but for a few weeks I just find myself worked up over it. My mom says I should be over him. I try to, but he was still a part of my life. He was the first man I ever really loved. The first man I had sex with. I just don't know if you are supposed to pretend like they never exsisted.

I guess I just want to know if it is "healthy" to still think about him sometimes. Most days I barely remember him, but sometimes I just can't help but think about it.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 3 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

Yes you will eventually get over the divorce, more specifically all of the emotions involved will eventually heal in time. You are still going through the grieving process and you will need to go through all of the stages of grief in order to continue to heal and move beyond the divorce. This is why it comes up every now and then because you haven't fully gone through the grieving process (-regardless of whether the marriage was a happy one or not, the grieving process must occur and needs your full attention for your own mental and emotional well being and helling). Click here to read more about the stages of grief. Also, I think that you could work on this issue with the aide of a self help book. If you purchase a self help book(s), it is important to designate a time to do this work on a regular basis when you will not be disturbed along with keeping a journal to write down your thoughts and reactions to what you read as you go through the book. You should agree on how much time you want to spend working on this and agree to how often you want to work on it, for example: once a week for 30 minutes, twice a week for 30 minutes, etc. Be sure to keep the amount of time designated for this at a comfortable level so that you do not dread doing this. The above is a healthy process that can help you continue to heal and to move forward pertaining to your divorce (-congratulations on your marriage to a great guy!). A few books for you to consider can be found below:


Book 1.
Book 2.

Book 3.

Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience: n/a
Angela and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Angela replied 3 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency