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Ask psychlady Your Own Question

psychlady, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 6892
Experience:  I have over 16 years experience in treating adults presenting with a variety of relationship issues
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Resolved Question:

AM HIGHLY HEART BROKEN.I AM A LADY OF 30 YRS.IN MY OFFICE I <br />> GOT INTO A <br />> RELATIONSHIP WITH a married colleague. I HAVE WORKED WITH him FOR <br />> YeaRS.I <br />> ALWAYS AVOILD RELATIONSHIP WITH MEN ESPECIALLY WHERE I <br />> WORK.BUT 4 <br />> MONTHS AGO,I ACCEPTED him after his long pleading,BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAD STRONG FEELINGS <br />> FOR HIM.WE <br />> SHARED GOOD MOMENTS/SEX TOGETHER.HE GAVE ME HIGH HOPES,I <br />> TRUSTED <br />> HIM.AM NOT INTERESTED IN MARRYING HIM AT ALL BUT I AM IN <br />> LOVE WITH <br />> HIM.JUST AFTER 2 MONTHS.HE STARTED AVOILDING ME.HE NEITHER <br />> CALLS NOR <br />> VISIT.A MAN THAT USED TO CALL ATLEAST 5 TIMES DAILY.I HAVE <br />> DONE ALL I <br />> CAN TO GET HIM BACK .I AM NOT FULFILLED IN THAT <br />> RELATIONSHIP.I SPOKE <br />> TO HIM ,DID EVERYTHING,HE KEPT TELLING ME TO BE PATIENCE with him.HE <br />> IS <br />> GRADUALLY PULLING AWAY FROM ME.WE USED TO GO PLACES,JUST TO <br />> MAKE LOVE <br />> ,HE WAS ALL OVER ME BUT NOW HE HAS STOPPED EVEN VISITING <br />> ME.FOR 3 <br />> MONTHS NOW,I HAVE BEEN CRYING ALL DAY.HELP ME.I AM DYING <br />> AWAY.i asked him if he is tired of me,he said not at all.he has never thought of leaving me.please advise me.since last 3 months,although he avoild all personal contact with me but he still gives me i have stopped collecting money from him.i am feeling really bad. i just want him back at all cost. <br />>
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: I still need help.
Expert:  psychlady replied 5 years ago.

It sounds like the two of you have different goals. You wanting intimacy and him pulling away. The only way to resolve this is to come together and talk about what you both want. I know you said you have talked, but there is no other way. If you love him you can only try to find a way to discuss the future of this relationship. If he is offering money, then you have a chance to see him although briefly. Use that time to have a discussion about the relationship and if there is one. If it turns out that there is no relationship anymore, then you have to separate from taking this money. By taking the money, you are saying that the relationship is only about money. Find a way to connect on an emotional level instead. You have to pursue a discussion that clarifies this situation. Tell him how you feel and see what happens.


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