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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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HI, Cp is trting to be the perfect Catholic but he is now starting

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HI, Cp is trting to be the perfect Catholic but he is now starting to drink at midnight before he goes to bed. It is a least 4 oz at a time. I guess he thinks I don't know. I am going to tell him that this is suiside for him(epileptic) and that is a sin and he won't go to heaven. any comment. You might reread previous question. thanks Sue
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 3 years ago.

Hello again,

 

I'm sorry to hear that not much has changed since the last time you wrote, except that now he's drinking as well...

 

I don't think your idea of telling him this is suicidal will work ....at least not at repairing your relationship. Worse, it puts you in the position of "mother" or "policewoman" rather than his romantic partner. As I remember from our last communication, he has moved in with you, but has decided to just be "housemates" so that he can be celibate and give communion. Keeping track of his drinking just puts you further in charge of taking care of him, and further away from an actual romantic relationship.

 

I know you feel bad for him, but he has continued to break his commitment to your relationship. At some point, you will either have to come to acceptance that you are just housemates and no more, or , you will have to make the decision to no longer live in these circumstance.

 

By continuing to accept his behavior and lack of romantic interest, you are teaching him that it's okay to treat you like this, and you're also taking yourself out of any opportunities to meet someone who really wants you for a mate.

 

It may be time to consult with a therapist in person to sort things out. You may decide that you'd rather keep him as just a housemate rather than lose him--which is fine, but you'll need help learning to accept that you're no longer romantically involved. And, as I mentioned last time, you'll also need help figuring out healthy boundaries if he's going to continue to live in your home.

 

Here's a link to a directory of therapists.

I wish you the best,

Suzanne

Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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