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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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Hello my name is mike and the reason i am here is i am having

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Hello my name is XXXXX XXXXX the reason i am here is i am having trouble with my ex girlfriend. We were dating for almost two years and everything was great. We had our normal problems but nothing major. All of a sudden she became very cold towards me and told me we needed a break but were not breaking up. For months we went back and forth were one minute she was crying how she needed me to the next hating me. finally after a vacation that went horrible I gave up. This was about a year and a half ago and very couple months i hear from her. as of recently we have been talking on the phone and i told her I feel I was cheated out of a good thing because she ran away instead of working things out. She told me she feels terrible and still thinks about me. The problem is she is back with her ex but she said she is having trouble with him. When we were together she was talking to him behind my back and she swears nothing happened until months after we were over. Regardless i feel like she is doing the same thing to him with me that she did to me with him. About four days ago she was off work and asked me to hang out. I never went and made up and excuse as i was too nervous to see her. She got angry and sent me a nasty text and i havent heard from her since. My question is just whether she is playing games and using me for support or is it actually worth putting effort into. I still miss her and love her just the same as always despite what she has put me through
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I am sorry for this painful time you are having. I think that she may be doing a little of both: playing games with you and using you for her emotional support. Based on what you have shared, it sounds as if she still has feelings for you and desires to be with you, however, at the same time she also has feelings for the guy she is dating, but her feelings towards him may not be as strong as her feelings towards you are. Therefore, this is why she was/is able to interact with you in the manner you described because she could be torn between the two of you. As a result, she has taken herself and you on a painful emotional roller coaster ride that she is choosing not to control in a healthy manner along with the fact that she wants to have the guy she is dating in her life as well as you (and probably in an intimate manner with you). This is probably why she overreacted when you did not hang out with her and has not contacted you since and also because she is not handling her emotions towards you or the current guy that she is dating in a healthy manner therefore choosing to drop communication with you is the easy way out for her (-for now). She likes having her cake and eating it too; all of the above is probably why she has behaved in this manner towards you. Again, needless to say, this is not fair to you and it is a painful emotional roller coaster ride she has taken you on and you deserve not to be hurt and not to be on an emotional roller coaster ride.
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