How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

my ex broke up with me cause she said we are too different

Resolved Question:

my ex broke up with me cause she said we are too different ... is that basically her way of saying she isnt attracted to me anymore??? Three days before this she said this was her first healthy relationship she has ever been and was having thoughts of sabotaging it ... her last relationship was very abuseful by the guy . I would like to know if you think our relationship is a lost cause.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Hi,

 

She had given you mixed messages. She may be testing you to see what would happen after the break up even if it is done subconsciously. What she had said to you and her actions are not congruent.

 

Contrary to the saying that opposites attract, for a relationship to be a long lasting and a healthy one, both partners have to have more things in common with one another. It is unclear about how long the two of you had been dating. People can learn to compromise and that is needed in any relationship. If you agree that the two of you have too many things in common and that they can act against you, then her decision was most likely influenced by that.

 

If the two of you are still talking, try to set some time to talk about what had caused this (even if she says she does not know. All behavior is driven by a purpose/goal)

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
<p>we dated 10 years ago and completely outta the blue she contacted me and everything was bliss and we talked about our future and the possibility of marriage and how we were soul mates and connected so strongly and how she thought of me the whole time. Basically we havent been in touch in a month im just wondering if a letter to express how i feel or just let it go ... i am 35 she is 31 with a daughter. I know that i love her but i am up in arms of how to proceed. never talking to her again would be crappy i think.</p>
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.
It is ok to talk to her taking things slow. Just catching up on things and see where things lead.
Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

how might sh e be testing me??? Is there something i should/can do??

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.
If she's testing you, she may want to see how you react and whether or not you go after her. It may be done subconsciously on her part. If her experience with the other man had been abusive, she may be trying to trigger some strong emotions in you to see what you do. What you can do is to remain truthful and open with your intent and see if she will be willing to have an open communication with you to go over what had taken place. Find out what are her reservations/fears.

Related Relationship Questions