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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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I met this guy a month ago. We met off an adult website, where

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I met this guy a month ago. We met off an adult website, where people meet up to have sex. It was the first time I had ever done anything like that.

Well least to say, we found that we liked each other immensely and had a lot of chemistry. I spent a wonderful night at his hotel and then he had to go back the next day to where he lives (which is 300 miles from me).

We texted every day and called each other almost every night. He was completely into me as I was into him.

Three weeks ago he made plans to come back into town. He reserved a hotel for 4 nights and got a plane ticket. All to see me. HE told me in his text messages that I made him happy. I agreed we made each other happy. HE told me he wanted to date me and that it was crazy how much we had in common. HE even bought me an iPhone 4 as an early xmas present!

There *was* one time he told me that if I fell in love with him, he could see himself being distant with me. I told him I would not fall in love with him. That i would keep my heart on a shelf.

Last week he got here and we spent 4 amazing days & nights together. He treated me so well. He paid for all of my meals. We made love over and over again and it was bliss. He told me I was beautiful for the first time ever. Towards the end though, it seemed like he was touching me less and wanting less attention from me. But it was so subtle.

When he left Sunday something didn't feel right to me...but he texted me normally.

By Monday I was starting to worry because his texts were much less and he didn't use emotion anymore or emoticons to express himself. His replies were one worded. He didn't ask how I was...

Now it it is a week later and I think I made everything worse. I got paranoid and kept writing him, asking him if we were ok. Then I texted him a bit too much. I kept asking him to call me, but he wouldn't. Saturday I received not one text from him. So, I called and left a message knowing he wouldn't answer. I told him that I was concerned and that I missed his friendship and I was sorry I texted him so much but I was so used to how things were the way before when he visited me. I also said if he needed space I would give it to him. But mainly I told him I missed him and his friendship and that he was the only guy friend I had and I appreciated him.

I haven't heard back. No texts. No phone calls. Nothing.

He still has me as his friend on Facebook. And I'm assuming that is at least good...

What should I do? Even if he never wants to have a relationship with me, I'd be ok with it. I just want him to talk to me again. I really do miss the friendship we had.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 5 years ago.

Jennifer :

Hello and thanks for using! I'm sorry to hear the relationship didn't move in the direction you were hoping. It sounds as though he began withdrawing on his visit and continued to do so once he was home. At the end of the day, why would you want someone who doesn't want you back? You deserve someone who showers you with the kind of attention throughout the relationship without you feeling at all as if you're calling or texting too much. He should want to hear form you and call without your prompting him to call you. The upside is that we learn from every relationship. Consider what it is you enjoyed about your time together, the qualities he had to offer, and how that might impact you look for in future relationships. As for your friendship with this man, the fact that he's kept you on Facebook does show he has enough respect for you not to cut you off entirely. I would avoid calling / texting to put some space between you for a while -- enough to tell him that you understand he's not interested in a relationship and that you're OK with that. You could then send a simple note through Facebook that just says, "Hello! Hope you're doing well!" If he doesn't respond to that, you'll know he's not really interested in a friendship either. I wish you the best of luck!

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