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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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My husband died a little over a year ago, i have dated a little,

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My husband died a little over a year ago, i have dated a little, but recently a friend set me up with her brother and we hit it off so well, had great chemisrty, and later went on another date. he lives 2 hours away and works alot so we havent been able to get together more yet. the problem is he has been separated from his wife for 4 months, and just filed for divorce. she cheated on him, and he has 2 minor children. I really would have thought he was the man of my dreams if it wasnt for this. I called him before our 3rd date and cancelled. I told him that i really like him alot and did not want to get hurt, so i couldnt see him again unless his divorce was final. he didnt seem to understand and said i was just scared, he said he had strong feelings for me, asked if he could keep in touch. it hurt alot to do this, and some friends think i did the wrong thing. did I do the wrong thing, his divorce could take months and who knows what could happen by then. I think he may feel rejected again as his wife cheated on him. I miss him so much, its been a week and he hasnt called or anything. Did i miss out on what could've been a great love? I know we dont know each other well, but i do believe some people can have very strong sparks and feelings in the beginning if it's meant to be.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 5 years ago.

Jennifer :

Hello and thanks for using! I think it's very wise of you to recognize that he's not likely to be in a place where he can offer you the kind of relationship you're looking for. He's certainly in a process of transition while he goes through the divorce process, a custody arrangement, etc. If your instincts told you to back off for this reason, I think you should listen. With that said, there's nothing wrong with maintaining a friendship with him -- particularly if this is someone who you feel is valuable in your life. You know never what might happen down the road when you're both in a more stable place and perhaps interested in seeing if your friendship could evolve into something else.

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