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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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my girlfriend seems satisfied with my 7 inch penis,but why

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my girlfriend seems satisfied with my 7 inch penis,but why did she tell me she has seen an 11 inch penis?it was in a general conversation not when we where intimate.we have been dating for 18 months,and this happened about 2 months ago.she is 52 and i am 43.i do not think she meant to hurt or degrade me.we love each other,and are very happy!but this bothers me.i am going to aks her,we are very open with each other!need to know why!i like and love her very much!but this is really bothering me
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 4 years ago.

Thank you for writing to Just Answer.

 

It seems your girlfriend, in the spirit of being open with each other, told you what she probably just considered an interesting fact...that she had seen an 11 inch penis.

 

Many women do not realize how sensitive men are about penis size. This is because the size is not significant for them, and they forget (or don't realize) that just because it isn't important to them, doesn't mean that it isn't to a man.

 

Obviously the 11 inches was not enough to keep her interest, as she's with you, not him. And this is what matters!

 

There is a really good book that explains a lot about the differences in how men and women think...I learned things from this book that were never covered in my many years of training. Even though the title is geared toward marriage, the information in the first few chapters should be required reading for everyone as they get out of high school and into real relationships.

 

Reading this book can help you realized that what matters to women is emotional connection and the size of genitals has no bearing on that. And reading it can make her more aware of what is important to men: feeling strong, competent, and at least somewhat in charge (protective), and how even a comment with no harm intended can be very wounding to him if it makes him feel less so.

 

I think you both can benefit from reading How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It

 

Don't make yourself miserable over her comment. I can say with 99% assurance that it was not intended to hurt you...but that she saw it as an interesting fact about a freak of nature, etc.the way you might think about a ridiculously large pair of breasts.--- Interesting, but not what a relationship is made of.

 

To stop thinking about this, whenever the thought comes into your mind, say to yourself "stop!!" and purposely change the subject. This is a technique of cognitive behavioral therapy called "thought stopping." This is to break the 'habit' of letting this thought occupy your mind. Then think of a mental image of a woman with breasts so large they are freakish--this should bring a smile to your face and break the painful habit of the first thought.

 

Make the choice to let this go and be happy again. You are in control of your thoughts--they don't control you.

Suzanne

Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
Suzanne and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I am a confident man,my penis size or the size of the penis she has seen or had does not bother me.What I want to know is why she felt the need to tell me.I love this woman more then I ever new I could love.I was married for 17 years,(divorced) and never felt this way.If I could just forget it, I would not be asking you. I am sorry I am not trying to be rude,but as far as thinking of another woman with hugh breast is ridiculous.You are right she is with me and thats all that matters.But why tell me about some guy in college 30 years ago.You are correct obviously his size did not matter that much to her.I would never think about tell her about the women that i had amzing sex with, or even just 1 that had the sweetest pussy (sorry) that i ever tasted or wrapped around my cock.Because i just wouldnt,cuase i love her and would not want to hurt her feelings.I dont know she ever told me and I wish she never did.Thank You for trying and letting me vent.I will hit accept for your time.I quess knowing his size does bother me,because before she told me I thought my 7 inch nice penis was good.But she told me for a reason:(sorry i will pay you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I wish you could be a little more honest, i am happier then I have ever been and the saddies i will ever be.i dont know if i should say something to her.or if thats what she wanted, to see if it bothered me.i would really like you to be dead honest to me,is 7 inches that bad?i would rather new the trueth and know

that it is on the small size then to go through the rest of my life always thinking about it.will you please give me a womans honest answer.i honestly will be just happier knowing if it small.please.at least i will have peace of mind.please be honest

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Suzanne
Suzanne
Therapist in Private Practice
338 Satisfied Customers
Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency