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Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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I dated a girl for a month, things were going good. About

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I dated a girl for a month, things were going good. About a month ago we had a great conversation and were planning on doing something big the following weekend because the current weekend I was out of town and she had to work. When I got back, I texted her confirm our plans for the weekend, the next day I receive and email. She cut me loose. There was a connection between the two us during that month. Small, but it was developing.    I would not be writing if I am wasn't still crazy about her. I fell for her big time, more any girl I have ever met. I have not contacted her since I received her email. Of course I read tons of articles on how to get someone back. And they all say not contact that person with constant desperate calls, texting terrism, or annoying emails.    When it comes to girls, I am quite shy when disclosing my feelings. But for some reason I am tired of being a sissy when it comes going after the girl. I have written a very nice letter expressing my feelings her. So my questions are: 1) Do these kind of letters (love letters) work, or are they just creepy?        2) Should I even bother, considering it was a short relationship? I have not felt like this about girl ever. For some reason this stings more so than all the other breakups I have had. and   3) Do you have any other suggestions on possibly wining her over, and if so, when and how to approach her.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.

Jennifer :

Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com! I'm sorry to hear that things did not work out. Bear in mind that although you felt a great connection and thought things were developing well, she must not have felt the same way or else she wouldn't have ended things. To answer your questions, you could certainly send the letter for the sake of knowing that you did everything you could to try to bring her back. At this point, you have nothing to lose, right? Even if it doesn't work, it may provide you with a sense of closure in that you did all you could. If you do choose to send a letter expressing your feelings, make sure it's not too heavy or full of deep emotions that may not be appropriate for the short time you had together. Even something as simple as, "Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you. I miss spending time with you and had hoped we might have a future together." If she feels the same way at all, you'll get a response! Anything over the top might backfire on you -- if it seems inappropriate given the short time you had or feels like you feel VERY differently than she does, she will likely ignore the letter entirely and you may not hear from her again. Keep in mind that the sting you feel is likely in part due to the fact that she rejected you unexpectedly. It's incredibly hard to be cut off, particularly when you're feeling good about how things are going and don't see it coming. Sometimes we misread the strong feelings we have about that as "I must have really loved this person." My only suggestion would be to let some time pass before you approach her again. When you do, keep it brief and limited to a hint that she's on your mind and you hope to see her again. Save the deeper emotional expression for when / if she responds and gives you an opportunity to get to know each other further. Those deeper conversations are always better in person anyway (vs. text, e-mails and letters). One study found that only 7% of what we intend in communication is conveyed through words! The rest is frequently misinterpreted since there is no opportunity to read tone, volume, and non-verbal cues when we express ourselves in writing. This is not the kind of thing you want misinterpreted. I wish you the best of luck if you decide to move forward with a letter. Remember that if she doesn't respond, she's obviously not the one for you. You deserve someone who wants to be with you as much as you want her.

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