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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My partner broke up with me two months ago, initially by a

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My partner broke up with me two months ago, initially by a text message where they advised me not to meet them when they were away on a course although originally we had planned to meet up, this change in behaviour from them came as a shock.
When my now ex partner returned home a few days later ( we didn't live together ) I phoned them asking if we could talk to which they refused to on that day saying she was too tired. I went round to her home later & she had gone out. I phoned the next day & she told me she felt we needed a break for a while, that we were living in each other pockets even we'd hardly seen each other for a few weeks. I agreed to this break but was in shock. She phoned me 5 weeks after the break up to tell me about a person she had met on the course who she is seeing. This person is 19 & my now ex partner is 49. I feel very heart broken & confused by her complete change towards me. Rose.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi Rose,

 

What question specifically would you like addressed?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
How can someones feelings change towards you so quickly? at the time of breaking up she said I was her "best friend" but she followed this by a text message saying she'd had an awful night crying because our relationship wasn't working anymore, her texts at that time said she still cared about me, her texts have only been in reply to mine & she has only phoned twice during the past two months. I think she is infatuated with the new person in her life & I've been dropped completely out of the blue. She said she had changed & people tell me she has moved on. Its the rule of no contact I suppose but I am finding this change very hard to deal with & feel she has acted irresponsibly & not in an emotionally mature way.I know we were experiencing problems pre-break up but I wasnt prepared for being discarded in this way. Rose
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for clarifying.

 

It may be possible that she was changing all along even while you were together. You may have missed the behaviors or she may have put on a front. Like you said, there were problems prebreaking up. Maybe she was seeing someone on the side?

 

People can change (how fast it depends on each individual) She may have had difficulty communicating with you and is resorting to only replying to your texts because it is safer for her to do so.

 

It may be fair to at least have her tell you what had transpired in your relationship to have led to this.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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