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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Experienced in counseling all age persons on relationship issues.
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Is it right that just because someone thinks, you are rude, then you

Resolved Question:

Is it right that just because someone thinks, you are rude, then you are?
on being accused of being rude myself - knowing with certainty that I was not rude in any way I wonder does this person have the right to make this accusation
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
If someone perceives your behavior as rude, then it is their perception.

It does not mean you ARE a rude person or that acted rude (according to your perception).

You (and the other person) may have different definitions of what rude behavior is. It may be a miscommunication or a misperception.

Rather than call you a name "RUDE". It would be better if that accuser said "when you say _________ or act _______, I feel that it is rude. This would clarify why they call you rude.

Then, you can say, "When I said ______or did ______, I did not mean to be rude.

Both of you do have a right to your perceptions but they might agree. In order to get over the bad feelings about this, the misperception should be talked out.
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