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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I am 38 years old and have been with my bf for 2 years. We

Customer Question

I am 38 years old and have been with my bf for 2 years. We are having definite problems and were almost broken up when I found out I am pregnant. He says he's trying and he wants to work on us but he's so negative about everything that has to do with the relationship and the baby. I know that this is not the best situation, but I've switched into reality mode. The reality is that we have a baby coming and we need to either man up or he needs to move on. How patient should I be?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

If he is willing to work on the issues, then it may be worth trying to mend things first before you decide that you want to move on. Think about what would be a realistic time frame during which you want to see some improvement in the relationship? Do you want to wait until the baby is born, do you want to be more flexible, etc.

 

Your patience would be reinforced if he shows some effort on his part. The two of you may decide on how you want to address these issues. Figure out what is causing the most friction to the least friction ex: money issues, responsibilities, fidelity, having grown apart, miscommunication, etc. Then, you would want to make some short and long term goals for the relationship that meet your mutual needs and wants.

 

Couple's therapy or working with a couple's coach are some options and there are also self help tools available (although, it is recommended that some professional help is sought out first).

 

Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self (Paperback)

 

Couple's Communication Made Easy (Audio CD )

 

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