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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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were English i live in france,he in south africa when we were

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were English i live in france,he in south africa
when we were 17/18 we were so in love but long story broke up
we are now both 51years old and for 9 months chat on skype and email nearly ever day we flirt openly,yet he says doesnt give anymore,and doesnt want to hurt me,yet he will be over for a week to see me with a friend! but has made me understand sex is possible even more am lost what to think to do he knows i love he still told him but like him who know what will happen

thank you in advance



Your decision about what to do would be largely based on the outcome you expect. If you believe that this visit would only be a fling even if it involves sexual intimacy then that is all it is. If on the other hand you believe that he is going to seek a relationship even a long distance one it is another. Of course, with the distance being an issue, you've got to ask yourself what sort of a relationship that would be.


He may believe that sexual intimacy is possible because he knows how you feel about him. Yet, some things are best left in the past. Whatever you have had or could have had at one point in your life does not mean it would be the same now.


It may be best to do what is safer and not get hurt.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
this is his last mail to me;

its hard for me to say anything to be honest as ikeep on saying and have said i am not lookinf for a relationship and my intentions are to see you as a friend which i have always said and IF anything happens then it happens,but i dont want to gaive false hpoes

i am happy to see you and as you say "talk,laugh,find each other again

i can only say if this is nt enough or your main goal is to find more or hope for more and in the end maybe cause dissappointment or upset you emotionallly then if you find it easier foe me not to come i will accept that
as i keep on saying it has been great to find you again after so many years and in the same breath have the regrets of what was lost but also acknowlege what we have also experienced and gained as well
please that about what i am saying i am not here to hurt you but hopefully be someone in your life that makes it richer regardless on what level

we never know what will happen so i am also open to change as i always say"change is good"

help me decode this ambigues man i love

There is nothing wrong in seeing him and having some time to catch up on things. Your feelings serve you a purpose (whatever that is only you know)

You may be found of him and holding onto the feelings from the past (in a way wanting to re experience them) Change is good and there is always going to be change in one's life. As long as you know what you want, then pursue it (that involves risk taking).

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
need you to analyze his mail what is he really saying
It would be not appropriate for an online service and not getting this info from him and not knowing where he stands/ what he wants etc.

Edited by Dr Rossi on 10/6/2010 at 3:10 PM EST

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