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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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hi i have been with a lass for 2 years and she is changed

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hi

i have been with a lass for 2 years and she is changed alot from i first met her, before she used to get at 8 each morning with her kids, now i have to get up most morning as she lys in bed.

i have to cook the tea and wash up and wash the cloths. she does wash cloth but never hangs it up to dry so it has to be rewashed.

i am the bigest earner of the house hold as she only work part time as a child minder only earning 6 grand in the year where i work 10 hour shift week on week off earn 25 grand.

i am trying to study for exams to imporve my job and earn extra money.

she says that she is feeling ill but able to go out at the weekend with friends and she said she could not get a doctor appointment to see her blood test but when i phone i could get one stright away.

she is going through a custody cause with her ex partner for kids which is up this nov to see if kids gets to see there father.

i dont know what i should do as when i ask for help see does nothing and if i try to do anything then she say i am in a mood

Hi,

 

You have already asked her to help you and she's not doing it. It may be possible that when you continue to do most if not all of the work, she is being enabled to do nothing to change.

 

Perhaps you can think of splitting up the responsibilities and find a way to consequent her if she does not do her part. If she relies on you for money, etc. then you let her know she has to pull her weight and you've decided to do whatever it takes to have her do so.

 

This may have become her habit and knowing that you would do the work, she feels like she does not have to bother helping you.

She could also be depressed if you think she lacks energy/motivation to do things.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

there is nothing i can do about the depression if she will not help her self by getting help or going to the doc?

 

well should i say if she not going to pull her weight i am moving out

Correct. She must want to get help. You can encourage her, offer to go with her to the doc, think about staging a home intervention but ultimately she has to be willing.

If you are fed up with the situation and you are serious about moving on, then yes, tell her openly that is what you intend to do. Hopefully that would let her rethink the situation and get help/change.

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