Hi pj and thanks for writing JA
I am sorry we were not able to connect on JA yesterday when I tried to contact you there, and I did watch your question all day in hopes another expert might be able to respond to you sooner.
You know, given SOLELY WHAT YOU HAVE POSTED HERE and nothing more I cant help but side with your husband on this. I am sure you have more background information on this and its probably too much to share online in a forum like this, but based solely on what you have posted?
I do think your daughter still owes your husband an apology and then I think once he gets that apology he needs to shake off his anger and work with you to coordinate family events. If he does not do that, he is using your daughters long ago behavior as a convenient excuse to behave poorly.
Let me know if you have more background on this so I can best help you?
or if you have more questions?
Warm regards, Cathy