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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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For Angela Hi Angela,As youll recall from this earlier

Customer Question

For Angela: Hi Angela, As you'll recall from this earlier question, my husband does a lot of traveling from Arizona to Minnesota for work. The company he works for is based there. When he received the position after his divorce the company and he made him an offer where he could stay in AZ to be with his daughter but he had to come into town one week out of every month for meetings, called no travel week because the rest of the office does not travel at this time but he come into town one week out of every month. And that one week out of every month he is drunk every night to the point of passing out on the phone while leaving me a message or drunk dialing late at night. This just happened but it was slightly worse this time. He was in MN this past week for "No travel week" but then had to stay through the weekend for a franchaise meeting. He was drunk every night, going to the twins game, parties, and just hanging out at the bar with a few guys. He left me a vm one night that lasted for 20 min. 15 minutes were of him snoring really loudly. I couldn't understand a word he said. The BIG party was last night and I never got a call from him to check in on our daughter and son....12 and 4. I was home all week by parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, many friends here in AZ. I felt really lonely and really mad that he didn't have the curtesy to check in on me to see how I was doing. It was a really long week. I asked him today why I didn't hear from him....he said probably bc he was partying to hard. He told my son he would skype him this week and didn't follow through with that either. My son had his first t-ball game on Fri. He didn't call afterwards to see how he did bc he was out with the guys drinking. He doesn't drink that much while he is in town. He will drink but not really to the point of passing out...sometimes he does but not all the time. This has been going on now for about 4 years...since my son was born. So to sum it up....binge drinks while he is out of town on business...not so much while he is in town...a little though. He gets mean when he does. Is he an alcoholic? There are so many definitions out there. I have questioned him on this many times but nothing has been resolved. I am an adult child of an alcoholic myself. I see lots of things that I don't like and I'm tired of being lonely and alone. I love my kids but I get tired of holding down the fort while he is out having a grand ole time. He is 52 years old. I find it so immature. What is your take on this hole situation? BTW: My daughter is doing better with the whole step-mom thing! I find it hard to deal with both things on my own. Oh, another thing...I am an only child....never have liked being alone. My mom died when I was 19. My dad was 91 in 2006 when he passed away when I was 7 months pregnant with my son who is now 4. Please help me....I need some sound advice!! Thank you so much!!!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

I am glad your daughter is doing better, this is great! As far as your husband is concerned, it definitely sounds as if he could be what is called a functioning alcoholic
(- this is not a diagnosis because a diagnosis cannot be made via this format). Also, trust your instincts especially since you are the adult child of an alcoholic. Just for informational purposes please also feel free to read more about functioning alcoholics, click here . Also, as you know, approaching alcoholics about their disease is not as easy thing to do, click here, for potential tips in approaching your husband. Remember: continue to take care of yourself and your beautiful children because all of you are the first priority in terms of your safety and well being and all of you are certainly worth it.

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