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Cathy
Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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Do you think if someone 3 years ago promised to change be more

Customer Question

Do you think if someone 3 years ago promised to change be more helpful at home and less lazy and caring for his wife and after that 3 years not much change like he still don't want eat with us dinner onn Sun. and eat in bedroom, sleeps lots can and don't try fight with his depression which make my life hell as I almost lost him in April because he overdose medicine. My parents see how I suffer and wish me to give up as I am all the time try make him smile, but he doesn't show his feelings towards me anymore can't understand why but how our merriage looks right now and also he can not control himself with spending money so we in debts, never sit down and make plan what we can do about it lack of communication. I want safe our merriage and he also but how if only me trying fix everything.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 6 years ago.

Hi and thanks for writing JA

 

I am sorry that we missed each other in chat and I have read your post. How sad that you find yourself in such distress.

 

I have two thoughts on this and one is that your husband does sound depressed but that also he is not measuring up to your expectations and it does not seem very likely that he will. What are your plans if he is not able to change?

 

I ask this because it is very hard for most to change and those who do change must work very hard at it (in therapy). I am wondering if you have begun to examine your options if he will not change. Will you stay with him and tolerate him as he is? or will you decide to leave him?

Thanks for the additional information so we can best help you from JA.

Warm regards,

Cathy