Thanks for writing to Just Answer!
You don't really have anything to lose by sending him your photo and coming clean. At this point, you have "broken up" so you will just be in the same spot you are right now, but it may help answer your "what if" questions.
However, base your decision on how emotionally strong you feel. If a rejection would be a stab to the heart, then let it go and move on.
If he rejects you, then you know the attraction was visually based, not emotionally based. Men are very visual creatures, so yes, they do base attraction somewhat on looks. But you never know what might attract him..it's possible your own picture might appeal to him.
And yes, also consider this a learning experience and just be who you are online---This is the second question I've answered in 24 hours about making up a different persona (picture, age, etc.) online, and the person coming to regret having done it because they met someone worth knowing, and had to deal with being locked into the 'lie' and eventually losing the relationship over it.
The beauty of life online is that you can always start over with a fresh profile, and find someone who will be attracted to you ...inside and out.
Thank you Suzanne.
This was so helpful in so many ways. But now it makes me wonder about another question. I know I want to come clean but I cant figure out whether im doing this for me---just to get free or is it to see if he and I can get into a relationship. As you said I dont feel like I have anything to loose.
About sending the picture, I am betwixt.
On one hand, I'm confident that I am beautiful, so whether im his type or not, a part of me is still confident in my own truth. Yes rejection would sting but, im trying to figure out if, "not knowing" would sting more.
More than anything, I know that I hurt him and im not sure if doing this would just being like opening up a can of worms, that is uneccessary.