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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My ex and i broke up 5 months ago!We should have been married

Customer Question

My ex and i broke up 5 months ago!We should have been married next Saturday!Ever since we broke up he keeps on coming back into my life and neither of us seem to be able to move on...I still love him and he says he still loves me too but he is scared of getting hurt again!I am seing someone but doesnt love him but cannot bear the loneliness and he says he is seing his best friend and says he got together with her for no other reason than he felt so lonely when i left and when i asked him why he is with her he says because she is "safe"...what does that mean?
Many thanks
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Being safe may mean different things. Most likely he means she's safe in that she won't hurt him.

 

So, being with her he is safe from disappointment/cheating. Safe can also mean that she's predictable and he does not have to worry about her behaviors.

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: well i thought for the money the expert would elaborate a bit more than a few words answer so as thought was supposed to be 100%satisfaction i resent paying £11 for a few words answer and would like my money back???
Thank you.
well i thought for the money the expert would elaborate a bit more than a few words answer so as thought was supposed to be 100%satisfaction i resent paying £11 for a few words answer and would like my money back???
Thank you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Im sorry but was disappointed about your answer so would like to ask another question as thought your answer was not very helpful ie too brief!!!!Sorry!

I still love my ex desperately and would love to be back with him!Dont know if you still have my past mail so will explain..Steve and i broke up 5 months ago after a turbulent but passionate and close relationship...There was jealousy on both sides mine came from his friendship with the neighbour next door who is also very attractive and gets on well with his children as she is divorced and has 2 children of her own...Steve and i were engaged to be married next Saturday and i feel so lost and sad!Ever since we broke up in May Steve comes back to my life pleading with me saying he knows neither of us will ever find again what we had no matter how hard we try to that he still loves me still in love with me we talk but then he backs off saying he is scared of getting hurt again...and we get nowhere!So last August met someone dont love him but couldnt bear the loneliness and was honest to him about my situation but he stood by me(though dumped me yesterday!)and told my ex that was it not to contact me anymore ettc..he pleaded with me as always telling me not to throw what we had that he still loved me and knew i still loved him and to meet up with him!I refused and didnt answer!I didnt hear from him for 2 weeks but he contacted me again pleading again to see me!We eventually met at the beginning of September and talked...He told me the same again ie loves me wants me to come home!I told him had been seing someone and thats when he told me had been seing Tara his friend next door the whole summer didnt love her but couldnt bear the loneliness when i left and kept on saying its not that kind of relationship...but promised he wanted to sort things out with her and for me to come home and made me promise i wouldnt change my mind...But the same evening he rang me and wanted to know why i didnt see him when he suggested and that i had put my new partner before him anyway told him he had a few days to make up his mind!We met again a few days later and at first we were talking well but when i mentioned Robert again being a good man etc that was the end of the conversation and he broke up with me again!I was devastated and texted him pleadinf but he said i had found someone better etc that after we met i went straight back to him but he said he didnt go back to Tara!Eventually after several texts pleading from me he contacted me one night at 11pm(thought he was checking on me!)asking me what i was up to etc but that he couldnt change his mind because of the children(he is a widower with 2 children)I told him we could still make it work and that i didnt have to compete with anyone that i knew i have a lot to offer and by his own words i am still the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and that it was up to him!5 days later he contacted me we had a nice conversation and i could sense he was confused said again still loves me always will still in love with me and that he misses the closeness that we had?He suggested we should do something together soon!Thats when i asked him why he is with Tara and he said he got with her for no other reason then loneliness and when i asked why still with her he said because she is safe which i took as not really being a compliment nor a valid reason to be with someone!As i had given up a good job to be with him and his kids and reminded him of that he said maybe now he should make a sacrifice for me and said thats right!I know he is scared of loosing his friendship with Tara as he has got friends really apart from her but i am so confused!Havent heard from him since last Wednesday and i am at a loss...I always assumed he keeps on coming back into my life because he loves me and cant let go which is why i let him myself but please need help and advice here as never been in a situation like this and dont understand his behaviour?Does he love me????

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Im sorry but was disappointed about your answer so would like to ask another question as thought your answer was not very helpful ie too brief!!!!Sorry!

I still love my ex desperately and would love to be back with him!Dont know if you still have my past mail so will explain..Steve and i broke up 5 months ago after a turbulent but passionate and close relationship...There was jealousy on both sides mine came from his friendship with the neighbour next door who is also very attractive and gets on well with his children as she is divorced and has 2 children of her own...Steve and i were engaged to be married next Saturday and i feel so lost and sad!Ever since we broke up in May Steve comes back to my life pleading with me saying he knows neither of us will ever find again what we had no matter how hard we try to that he still loves me still in love with me we talk but then he backs off saying he is scared of getting hurt again...and we get nowhere!So last August met someone dont love him but couldnt bear the loneliness and was honest to him about my situation but he stood by me(though dumped me yesterday!)and told my ex that was it not to contact me anymore ettc..he pleaded with me as always telling me not to throw what we had that he still loved me and knew i still loved him and to meet up with him!I refused and didnt answer!I didnt hear from him for 2 weeks but he contacted me again pleading again to see me!We eventually met at the beginning of September and talked...He told me the same again ie loves me wants me to come home!I told him had been seing someone and thats when he told me had been seing Tara his friend next door the whole summer didnt love her but couldnt bear the loneliness when i left and kept on saying its not that kind of relationship...but promised he wanted to sort things out with her and for me to come home and made me promise i wouldnt change my mind...But the same evening he rang me and wanted to know why i didnt see him when he suggested and that i had put my new partner before him anyway told him he had a few days to make up his mind!We met again a few days later and at first we were talking well but when i mentioned Robert again being a good man etc that was the end of the conversation and he broke up with me again!I was devastated and texted him pleadinf but he said i had found someone better etc that after we met i went straight back to him but he said he didnt go back to Tara!Eventually after several texts pleading from me he contacted me one night at 11pm(thought he was checking on me!)asking me what i was up to etc but that he couldnt change his mind because of the children(he is a widower with 2 children)I told him we could still make it work and that i didnt have to compete with anyone that i knew i have a lot to offer and by his own words i am still the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and that it was up to him!5 days later he contacted me we had a nice conversation and i could sense he was confused said again still loves me always will still in love with me and that he misses the closeness that we had?He suggested we should do something together soon!Thats when i asked him why he is with Tara and he said he got with her for no other reason then loneliness and when i asked why still with her he said because she is safe which i took as not really being a compliment nor a valid reason to be with someone!As i had given up a good job to be with him and his kids and reminded him of that he said maybe now he should make a sacrifice for me and said thats right!I know he is scared of loosing his friendship with Tara as he has got friends really apart from her but i am so confused!Havent heard from him since last Wednesday and i am at a loss...I always assumed he keeps on coming back into my life because he loves me and cant let go which is why i let him myself but please need help and advice here as never been in a situation like this and dont understand his behaviour?Does he love me????Forgot to say he said before i told him had to go to bed last wednesday in our conversation that he would talk to me soon but since then nothing...i really want to be with him?help....and thank you.....

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Hi

Sorry i am a little bit confused as thought if not happy with answer you could ask another question so i sent you a long e mail detailing my problem and was hoping for an answer to all the detailed points i listed but you didnt reply/I am more than happy to pay once i receive an answer from you as you are a professional would value your poinion and advice on my problem?Please advise me as i do understand your services need remuneration but the definition you gave me about the meaning of safe i got that from an automatic translater too which was free!But would appreciate if you could answer my long e mail regarding my problems with my ex please...

Many thanks

Maryline

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