How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Why is it when there is a bully within a family (my father)

Customer Question

Why is it when there is a bully within a family (my father) is that person allowed to manipulate and assassinate the characters other members for no reason than to get people to takes sides? In essence dividing a family which in reality he could care less about.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

Some of the family member may be enabling his behavior with their responses to him/tolerance. If a person is codependant, their reaction would continue to reinforce his behavior. He too may have some personality traits affecting his behavior.

 

Other factors that may be playing a role in this is possible intimidation or fear of his actions/words. If he is not capable of admitting any wrong on his part, it is doubtful that he would have an epiphany one day and change. Speculation- a person with a Dependant personality disorder/traits can foster this sort of a relationship w/ a man like you father.

 

In order for him to change, he must be willing and there must be reasons for him wanting to change. If he gets away with what he is doing/saying, he would lack motivation.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I have just asked a new question which is a continuation of the above. Thank you

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.
I would see it only if it is under this thread (otherwise, it posts in the queue and any expert is free to answer it)
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Is it because I have had discussions with him personally about extremely important issues (such as having witnessed along with my cousin, him over medicating his dying mother with oxycotin when his other sibblings were not there.) She passed within a week of her diagnosis. He is a deplorable human who unfortunatelly is my father which gives him the upper hand. No father would want to assassinate his only daughter, right. He has referred to me to other people as a "broad" and his pet name for his mother was "old bag". What would it take for me to be able to regain my relationships with my other family members who I have consistently been there for and loved without condition?

 



Already Tried:
Tried to share my feelings with my family but whatever he says must be so ugly that I am the evil person. He calls me bi-polar, a drug addict and his new one is that I blackout from drinking so much I can't remember what crap I've said. I am so sad and I am beginning to doubt myself and it is taking a toll on me to say the least.

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.

The discussions may be a reason but not necessarily the only one. He may not be emotionally mature to handle criticism. If he is verbally abusive, that may be his way of redirecting the attention onto you and others instead of dealing with his issues (defense mechanism).

 

His personality also may predispose him to acting in this way. Regardless of what he had told other family members about you, they would have to make their own conclusions. You do not have to doubt yourself. Everyone has a subjective view and you've shared yours with him and the family.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

So many people have told me the same thing and I agree. What is not getting through my head is this is not the way "NORMAL fathers" act. There lays the answer. I'm expecting from him something he isn't capable of being. Normal.

Thanks

Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 3 years ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions