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Some of the family member may be enabling his behavior with their responses to him/tolerance. If a person is codependant, their reaction would continue to reinforce his behavior. He too may have some personality traits affecting his behavior.
Other factors that may be playing a role in this is possible intimidation or fear of his actions/words. If he is not capable of admitting any wrong on his part, it is doubtful that he would have an epiphany one day and change. Speculation- a person with a Dependant personality disorder/traits can foster this sort of a relationship w/ a man like you father.
In order for him to change, he must be willing and there must be reasons for him wanting to change. If he gets away with what he is doing/saying, he would lack motivation.
I have just asked a new question which is a continuation of the above. Thank you
Already Tried: Tried to share my feelings with my family but whatever he says must be so ugly that I am the evil person. He calls me bi-polar, a drug addict and his new one is that I blackout from drinking so much I can't remember what crap I've said. I am so sad and I am beginning to doubt myself and it is taking a toll on me to say the least.
The discussions may be a reason but not necessarily the only one. He may not be emotionally mature to handle criticism. If he is verbally abusive, that may be his way of redirecting the attention onto you and others instead of dealing with his issues (defense mechanism).
His personality also may predispose him to acting in this way. Regardless of what he had told other family members about you, they would have to make their own conclusions. You do not have to doubt yourself. Everyone has a subjective view and you've shared yours with him and the family.
So many people have told me the same thing and I agree. What is not getting through my head is this is not the way "NORMAL fathers" act. There lays the answer. I'm expecting from him something he isn't capable of being. Normal.