In order for things to change for you, you've got to change your behavior. You've invested so many yeast with him and even if uncertainty and fear are some things preventing you from acting, start one step at a time.
Make sure that you have a strong support network and connect with a counselor if needed. Look into writing some goals for yourself (things you would need to do in order to separate and move on) If you have concerns about your finances, place of living/relocation, keeping in touch with family friends/family, etc. go over everything and jot down how things may become different. Think about some of the things that you're in control of.