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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I am in a great relationship, however for some odd reason Im

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I am in a great relationship, however for some odd reason I'm having difficulty with the fact that my boyfriend will avoid using my car. His is newer, gets better gas mileage, where as mine is beat up and does have a lot of mileage. My car is bigger so for those times we need a bigger car I said we can use mine, he would just rather cram things into his. He always drives which most of the time is fine for me. I look at other relationships and watch how they share things so I think that's where I'm finding the struggle. I have often thought that when I can afford a better car we can pick out something together, but then at times I wonder if it's just going to be the same thing over again. His parents are almost the same way. His Dad does not like driving his Mom's car, but his Mom can and does (even though it is rare) drive his Dad's truck. I don't understand why this irriates me, but it does. The fact that we are not married yet and each vehicled is on a separate insurance policy I think is irrelvant to this at this time. Any thoughts?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Hi there,

 

Some men behave as though their most cherished possession is their car. If he enjoys it, then let it be. If you watch car shows on TV, you'd notice that most of those attending it are men. It really has nothing with sharing. Men like to show off and if he thinks that his car is nicer and newer, he will use it.

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I think my issue is I keep comparing our relationship to other relationships that I see and therefore want our relationship to work the same way. I don't understand why I keep struggling with this, but for some reason it's heavily on my mind. Like you said I should just let it go.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.
It seems that way (you even mentioned your parents) Your relationship is unique though and you really never know what goes on in other relationships 100% Every relationship has its ups and downs. You're struggling with it possibly because of underlined insecurity by redirecting your attention to something rather trivial- the car issue.
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Good point, any suggestions as to how I can overcome the insecurity issue?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Try to separate your feelings from the actual situation (be objective). Your interpretation of the event makes you feel a certain way. When you catch yourself feeling upset, figure out what is triggering it (is it really something that anyone else would become upset about, or is are there other issues) You'd have to be mindful and monitor your thoughts and redirect/change the as needed.

 

 

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