Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing. It sounds as if you are feeling confused by the controlling and manipulative actions by this man. It is never possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who is already involved with someone else, so setting the limits that you set of not engaging in such a relationship was a healthy choice. Now the challenge is to not let this man have emotional power over you. One way to do this is to avoid all contact with him, not respond to him, not read any emails, and not respond emotionally to him as this will only fuel his pursuing you. If he persists, then this may be considered stalking. If he does engage in stalking behavior, you can document this behavior and notify police since there are laws against stalking. You may find the following website to be helpful: http://www.ncvc.org/src/main.aspx?dbID=DB_People196
Also, I definitely believe in trusting your gut. It is often a very good indicator of red flags that should not be ignored. It sounds as if your gut is telling you that this man is bad news. You deserve to have someone in your life who is not trying to control you or hurt you and someone who is worthy of your trust. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.