How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question

Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My ex-wife and I have been divorced for 3 years. There were

Resolved Question:

My ex-wife and I have been divorced for 3 years. There were a lot of problems in our marriage, including infidelity. We have a 9 year old son together and I also raised my 19 year old stepdaughter since she was 4 years old. My ex is currently engaged and living with her fiance, and I'm also living with someone. My ex and I get along better now than when we were married; in fact, we've gotten along great since we haven't been together. However, I've thought about his for a very long time and there's no doubt I'm still in love with her. I wouldn't admit that to her, because I don't want to destroy what she has with her fiance. But I think, if she's not IN love with me, she at least loves me and wonders if we could ever make it work. She's admitted that much to me. Question is, what do I do now?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

The two of you already had your time/chance. It takes a while for feelings to cool off.

 

She is engaged and lives with her partner. What you may want to do is be a gentleman and let her live her life. She may be confused about her feelings for you. Something had taken place in the past that led to the divorce (whether it was you who had the infidelity or her) Why would you want to get into the same possible situation again?

 

It is all right for you and her to keep in touch and remain friends (you have had a history together and a family) What may be unhealthy is to try and rekindle something back. It is possible for things to appear more appealing now that you're separated (but think back about the time when you were a couple. When there is minimum friction in any relationship things appear wonderful) As time goes by, those dynamics change and people fall back into a pattern they're most comfortable with.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
I don't disagree with anything you've said. In fact, I've gone out of my way not to say or do anything that would infringe on her current life. My confusion about what, if anything I should consider doing, comes from her asking me, more than once, if I'm happy with who I live with. I don't know if that's idle curiosity or if she's fishing. I've answered her, truthfully, when she's asked but I haven't followed up. Should I ask why she wants to know or just leave it alone? And if she were ever to admit that she's not 100% happy with her life, should I still remain quiet? What if I'm throwing away my last chance to rekindle with the only woman I've ever truly loved?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

She may be asking 1/ out of curiosity, 2/ trying to stir up jealousy because she's living w/ someone and if you were to say "No you were not happy" she could use it against you, et. It is best to leave it. If she is not happy 100% (and no one ever is always at 100%) you do not want to undertake the chance of trying to make it better for her. What if you fail? She can not expect you to fix her own life. She has to decide what she wants, be clear about it and not try to give you mixed messages. You were burned once already.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions