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Dr.G.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I have been attracted to a man over the past few years never

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I have been attracted to a man over the past few years never acted on it. I ran into him a few months ago we stared talking and there was a spark between both of us. Here is my problem he lives in New York and I live in California he would like to move back her with in the next 2 years after many phone calls emails and texting he is coming here to visit me (his idea). I could tell by the different times of our conversations that there might be someone he was dating I casually asked him and his reply was that he is a non committed relationship and not in love with her and sees her out of loneliness etc. Very honest and I get that. My question is should I even bother if he is lonely in NY than a long distance relationship would seem difficult? There is something very intriguing and has been for a while and I would like to see if there is something and then I think why, this is stupid why like someone so far away. His answer to my question was honest and I am not sure what to do. Thank you , Maryann
Keeping it long distance is likely not going to work. I say meet up with him and "interview" him and see what your feelings are after that. There is no harm in meeting up with him and there is no obligation for commitment. If the spark is there then you discuss the possibility of him moving in two years and what the two of you will do in the meantime. If there is no spark then tell him thanks but no thanks.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I agree with the long distance part of your answer as I was writing it I could almost read the same answer. He is coming here for 5 days. I was fine with that until his answer to me about him dating someone in NY he said that they are clear with one another about dating other people but she wouldn't be thrilled about him coming here he wants to be "open and honest" but now I am feeling boxed in and want to run but want a mature conversation with him.
Is it because you think he is two timing you or what? What makes you feel boxed in?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I haven't even kissed the guy so I don't think 2 timing would be the exact term I would use. I just feel like what is the point and why get wrapped up into a go no where situation. then on probably a more pathetic level why not what if it could be great. I bounce back and forth I just don't want to end up liking someone and then feel that he is two timing or insecure if I do want out of the 5 days what is a good answer not to look needy Thanks
Well considering the reservations you have about this guy and the situation as a whole, I say don't even bother with him. To get out of the meeting just tell him that you have been doing some thinking and that you would rather not get involved with a man who is seeing someone else and someone who lives far away. therefore, there is no point in us meeting because I am not interested anymore. Thanks for the kind gesture and it is nothing against you.

There you have it.
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