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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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My question has to do with my boyfriend and I. We have been

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My question has to do with my boyfriend and I. We have been together for quite some time now and have had a bit of a complicated relationship, but also a great one regardless. He and I have always been incrediably close and talk all the time and about everything. However, lately our relationship has changed alot. He moved aways and it seems like ever since he moved we don't talk as much asnymore, and when we do talk its usually more sexually oriented. We don't just talk about normal stuff anymore it seems. I don't know why things have changed, and I feel confused. When I 've tried to kind of express my conerns, he kind of doen'st really say anything. he just gets reallly sweeet for like a day, to kind of smooth things over a bit I'm thinking, but then he gets wierd again. Also, its seems like when I call or text him, it takes him hours if not a day to get back to me now if I try to get a hold of him on the weekends. We used to talk about getting married all the time, then he moved, and now everything feels wierd. Do you think he could be cheating on me, or am I just over analyzing? I can't seem to tell. Maybe he just needs some space right now to adjust? I don't know.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

The dynamics of relationships change with time as each partner becomes more familiar with the other. The "in love" stages changes and it may be one of comfort as well as complacency.

 

He does not have to necessarily be cheating. It may be that he had become too relaxed in this relationship and thinks that you'd be there for him regardless of what his behavior is like.

 

If you do not feel a spark and emotional connection with him, then try to introduce some spontaneity in the relationship. Continue to try to do the things that the two of you enjoy. Do not let him feel that you're chasing after him. If he does not respond to your messages right away, just let him know that he has your contact info and let him go after you.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks so mich for the reply! Thays exactly how I feel. I do have a follow up question though....we have a long distance relationship, does that matter or make any bigger difference? Also, how do I introduce spontaneity in a long distance relationship? We dont see each other all the time like others do. I'm not sure how to do that. Do you have any possible suggestions? Oh!! One last thing if I can. Are there any sue fire sign of cheating that I should keep an eye out for?
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Yes, a long distance relationship has its own disadvantages (physical intimacy, doing things together, etc) But, it can be a strong relationship as long as both partners are committed and open to make compromises when needed.

 

If the distance is not too long, you could plan a surprise visit or at least the two of you can meet some place halfway and spend the weekend together at a B&B.

 

There may not be a lot of signs of cheating for you to detect if he resides away (such as physical evidence) unless he indicates something to make you believe that something is happening. The same applies for him and what you're up to. If he seems preoccupied and less affectionate, that is something to look into (it does not always mean he's cheating but any withdrawal like that should be explored)

 

The two of you should try to find time when you can speak in person about the goals of the relationship and each other's expectations.

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