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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I have been in a relationship now for 14 years, we have had

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I have been in a relationship now for 14 years, we have had very severe problems throughout but when we separate we can't stay apart, the last time we separated he began a relationshp with another woman to the extent of moving her in with him and seeing me on the side the whole time, i accepted a lot of the problems throughout the relationship as my fault, this was how i was able to deal with that whole situation, now that we have been back together for a while now and at one point he tells me I am and have been the best thing that ever happened to him, tells me I am the best person he knows, he ask how could i be there for him after what he has done, now we are at odds again, i know that it hasn't been until the past few weeks that he was still seeing this other woman, he says he wants to talk and discuss everything and see where we are, I want to know what may be the issue, what is going on with him and what i should do.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

If you are open up for objective feedback, what may be going on is that you're codependent in addition to being in love and hopeful that he will change and he is benefiting from this.

 

You have to figure out what was causing the problems during the times you were together. Was it his desire for an open relationship and exploring other options.

 

He may be afraid of commitment for whatever reason. You've mentioned he is depressed but won't seek help. You've sacrifice a lot for him but that is not causing any improvement in him. At that point, you may want to change your approach to him. You've been to therapy. He would need to consider going to get help for his depression first from a psychiatrist and then couple's therapy.

 

It would take the two of you to make the relationship work. It seems that you are the one that had done most of the work so far.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
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Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.