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Angela, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 681
Experience:  n/a
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My boyfriend is still talking to the woman that broke up his

Customer Question

My boyfriend is still talking to the woman that broke up his marriage. They had an affair for years. He talks to her once a week and they still see each other occassionaly. (once a month) He says that it is because he is the godfather to her daughter. I am not comfortable with this and think that I should end the relationship. I do not think that he is being totally honest with me. As I write this question I feel like an idiot. I already know the answer!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
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Expert:  Angela replied 6 years ago.
Hello my name is Angela.
I am more than happy to assist you with your questions by giving you my honest and respectful opinion.

First, don't feel like an idiot for writing this question because it is obvious that you care about him and therefore you hope there is a solution to your problem. Before you take action to end the relationship, I suggest talking to him once again about this issue. Arrange a time when the two of you will be alone and will not be disturbed, for example: go to the park for a picnic. During this time once again bring up the issue with your boyfriend and honestly tell him (in your own words) how you feel and that you hope that the two of you can reach a compromise that makes you both feel good about this issue because you care about him. With this in mind, think about what you want him to do differently, for example: do you want him to no longer have any contact with the woman unless you are present (-he can be the godfather of the daughter with you there by his side therefore preventing him from interacting with this woman alone)? Once you decide what you want him to do differently, discuss it with him and see if he is willing to compromise so that you are no longer getting mentally and emotionally hurt by his actions. Also, it is important that your boyfriend values your relationship enough to want to compromise and make it work, therefore, if he truly cares about your relationship he will compromise with you on this issue. If he refuses to compromise, then I think you could take action on your previous thoughts to end the relationship because you would have done all that you could have on your end and your mental and emotional well being is a priority.

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