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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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Relationship question

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Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

Looks like your question didn't post accurately... Can you explain the situation? Based on what you've already tried, I'm guessing you want to get back together with an ex... Is that correct? What happened? Let me know what your question is as well and I'd be happy to help. Thanks!
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Ok, i'm sorry.

Basically there is a guy i know,he's italian...he's been hurt emotionally a lot in his life.

We met two years ago, and we really hit it off. we began dating although he never asked me to be his girlfriend,we spent plenty of time together and he really opened up to me about things going on in his life that had hurt him. Anyway we grew very close and from time to time he would ask me why i was so good to him. I didnt know what to say, but i was always there for him. He is a musician so there are a lot of women who want to be with him and when they would see us together, would try to tear us apart. Well finally i got into it with one of the women and i put her in her place. I told my "boyfriend" (we'll call him james) i love you ... if you like her then be with her thats ok with me... i just want you to be happy. After that i purposely didnt see him for six months and started dating someone else,which james knew about and showed his complete disgust.My friends often told me that he was asking about me.He even invited me to one of his gigs, but i didnt answer him back. A month later he asked my best friend why he hadn't heard from me and is i was still with my new boyfriend, and that he didnt like him. The guy that i was with became abusive so we broke up. When James found out he was very excited from what i here. Next thing i know he sends me a text saying "free at last?" he invited me down to his gig agian and i went and we were very excited to see each other again. So for the past three months i've played it cool, only letting him come up to me or invite me places. He has brought up the past a few times but they are good memories. MY QUESTION IS..... From what i have told you,does it sound like he is interested still???? what should i do??? i have deep feelings for him. thank you.

Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.
It sounds like he is still interested to me. He was keeping tabs on you while you were in another relationship, contacted you after with the "free at last?" text, invited you to another gig, and continues to approach you and initiate contact even though you're not... Those are all signs of someone who is interested. At this point, you may want to give him a little more so that he doesn't think you're NOT interested! There's a fine line between playing it cool and being too difficult to catch. While he may be excited by the chase, you'll want to give him at least enough to know it's worth his while. Try approaching him on occasion and putting a little more effort into it by inviting him to do things. Just enough to increase the time you're spending together and send the message that you're interested in him. If this is going well for a while and you're feeling comfortable, you could certainly tell him how you're feeling and ask if he's feeling the same way.

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