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Cathy
Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
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Hey Cathy. Question I hope you remember me. This past week

Resolved Question:

Hey Cathy. Question: I hope you remember me. This past week has actually been pretty good since the "break up", largely due to, as you said, work and keeping busy. i been really keeping myself busy because I am moving into a new apartment, I feel it is just too many memories. Is that unhealthy? And what happens next, when I move into the new place am I going to slip back into the same depression, feeling like I absolutely have to get away? Also, she has not tried to contact me, and I am feeling like I pray she doesnt because I am scared I will be weak and go back 2 her. Is that normal to feel like this? Lastly, I am feeling like I never want to go the "love route" again, is there any way of keeping myself from falling in love again? Dont mean to keep bothering you about the same situation, but, you have great advice, and I am too private to discuss what I am going thru with any1 else.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Cathy replied 4 years ago.

Hi, Yes naza and of course I do remember you.

 

First off, no I do not think it is a bad idea to move into a new apartment so long as it does not create hardship for you financially and yes, living in spaces we once shared with loved ones does promote memories that are sometimes painful. I would think if you can afford to move and it is not a hardship, do it.

 

I do not think it is unhealthy in the least. I think a lot of people would move from homes they shared with partners but for financial reasons they do not.

 

Having said this, even with a move you are going to still grieve your lost love. I do not think that there is a way to avoid this, but as I said before, in time this is going to get much easier for you.

 

I am glad she has not contacted you either. I do not think she is interested in you and I think you deserve someone who does appreciate you and who you feel as in love with as you did your ex.

 

I believe every thing you have shared is normal and I know that many people report exactly what you have in the wake of the same experience.

 

You are not bothering me in the least and I am happy if I can help you through this. Trust in yourself and your intuition and give yourself every benefit of the doubt. And do not give into her. You have already completed the hardest part of mourning the loss of your relationship with her and you can move forward much more easily if you have no contact with her.

 

I think you are as normal as normal can be and I think you are doing all the right things you need to do. Make sure you plan lots of activities for the weekend, go for a jog, see a movie, get together with friends, bake a pie, wash your windows in your new flat, and in short keep as busy as you can to keep yourself from over thinking this.

You have all my very best, Cathy

Cathy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1436
Experience: Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice
Cathy and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Cathy
Cathy
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Ms, MS.Ed., thirty years clinical practice