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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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I met this guy in Vegas, we kept in touch everyday for a month

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I met this guy in Vegas, we kept in touch everyday for a month and a half, then decided to take a trip to MO to see him last week. I just got back, but I dont think hes into me as much as i am him, even though his friends told me otherwise. Im not sure what to do, as I live in NY. I dont want to pester him or rush things, but Id like to know where he stands
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 3 years ago.

Thanks for writing to JustAnswer.

 

I think your instincts are right...he needs to step up and initiate. If he doesn't, I would guess that he liked you well enough, but it was just one of those Vegas things.

 

To talk about moving there after so little time together was rushing things, and I'm not surprised he backtracked the next day.

 

If your gut tells you he's not as into you as you are into him, I would trust your gut, no matter what his friends said.

 

I wouldn't put your life in NY on hold for this guy...unless he really, really pursues you now that you're back home. If there are any more visits...make him come to see you. If you make things too easy for him, you'll just stay in limbo. Men like a challenge. Make him put forth some effort. Not game playing, but you cared enough to go see him...now see if he will do the same.

 

Hope this helps! Please click on ACCEPT if it did..

Best,

Suzanne, LCSW

 

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
How do I make him put forth effort? Is there someway to ask him how he feels without sounding like a creep? Normally I would just let it go and move on, but for some reason I can't with him. Thank you for your time.
Expert:  Suzanne replied 3 years ago.

That's the thing...you can't make him put forth effort. What you really have to do in this situation is see if he steps up. Let him text /email/call first.

 

I have to tell you that I think the reason he's got you "hooked" is because he's sending double messages...and that keeps you wondering and thinking about him.

 

Do not ask how he feels. You haven't known him long enough...and if he were head over heels for you, you wouldn't have had that sinking feeling that he wasn't so into you. If he had fallen in love with you, you would already know it. If you have to ask, the answer is usually "no"....

 

So far, this doesn't sound like it has the makings of a real relationship...1. men go to Vegas for a fling,and a wild time, not a long term relationship. 2.You didn't get a great vibe during the visit. 3.He's already backing off.

 

I can't help but think that deep down you already know that this isn't going anywhere. This is probably one of those things that should have "stayed in Vegas"

 

Suzanne Please click ACCEPT if this has been helpful.

Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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