How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jennifer Your Own Question

Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
30853534
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Jennifer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Ask Jennifer. Hi Jennifer, Lisa has been home for almost a

Resolved Question:

Ask Jennifer. Hi Jennifer, Lisa has been home for almost a week now. I let the whole trip thing go but it just seems that we still argue over dumb things. For example we went out sat night with a friend and it was kinda crowded and people were bumping into to her so she wigged out and wanted to leave. She kinda ruined the night for my friend and I. Then today, we did a lot of things together and her mom called and said she has not been home since last week. I can't win. So she is going home wed for her birthday then comming back at night. Then just a little while ago she said maybe I should come back Thursday to keep the peace. So she is not going to see me on her birthday? I am not sure what's the best way to deal with this. She does not want to go home but she wants to make her mom ande sister happy. I feel so insecure. Theres no flow if that makes any sense. We have fun together but I think the outside influences could bury us. Any ideas thanks.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 4 years ago.
Chat Conversation Started
Jennifer :

I think there is a flow to this relationship, but it seems to lack any consistency. One minute you're convinced this is the one and you feel entirely secure in the fact that any hesitation you had was simply because it's so real that it scares you. The next you're convinced she's not the person you thought she was. The flow you have with Lisa is more of a roller coaster than anything else. Do you think it's the drama that is sustaining the two of you? What I mean by that is that sometimes there are couples who seem to thrive on the intensely emotional highs and lows. It adds excitement in some ways, but ultimately it can be very draining. I get the feeling you're beginning to feel tired of this relationship switching "on" and "off." Are you interested in finding more consistency with her? That's the bigger question that I think you might want to think about.

Jennifer :

With regards XXXXX XXXXX issues at hand, I do think it's worth telling her how spending her birthday elsewhere makes you feel. It's a special occasion and you'd hoped she would want to spend it with you. Leave it at that and see how she responds... You mentioned arguing all of the time -- What are you arguing about?

Jennifer :

Not sure if there is a glitch in the new chat system or not, but I got an e-mail that said you'd replied to this... However, when I checked the site I appear to have the last reply. If I've missed one, please try posting again. Thanks!

Customer:

Hi Jennifer. The problem is that her mom is complaining that she doesnt see her because she is with me and since she was away. Thats part of it. The other part is that her mom feels that she should not be staying with me 5 days a week because we are not engaged. Why buy the milk if you can get the cow for free. So not only are we not consistent but family is putting there two cents in. My family is fine. But I knew this would all happen and she did not listen. So I am mad that I was right all along about what would happen. ie trip, living with me, etc.

Jennifer :

Lisa is an adult. She can certainly make her own decisions about whether she wants to stay with you and explain to her family that it's her choice to spend as much time with you as she does. Unfortunately it's not unusual for family members to give their opinions on relationships even if it's none of their business. How Lisa responds to it (knowing how you feel, of course) is what's important. Is this the first time she's opted to do what her family tells her to or do you see a pattern here?

Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
Jennifer and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
320 Satisfied Customers
Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.