Now that I have moved and its been about a week, what would you consider an acceptable length of time before I call her to possibly ask her out to a movie or dinner? I have heard from her once since I moved out.
She just recently told me within the last 2 days she wants to be left alone right now but will keep in touch but not everyday. Then stated I hope that makes you feel better. She also mentioned that she needed to see a Dr. because she dont know what is going on. I have given her the space she asked for but with little communication. She commented that the last time she had the urge to have sex was the last time we made love. She has since moved to a second shift job for monetary reasons and I work a first shift which has really put a damper on our seeing each other. She tells me she thinks about me but doesn't seem to find the time to contact me. I have asked her directly face to face if our relationship is over and she refuses to acknowledge my question. Not quite sure how to process all of this.
Since we last talked I have started seeing another woman on a casual basis. I have also talked to my ex girlfriend on a couple of occassions and meet with some resistence. The last time I meet with her was for about an hour and talked casually about her grandson, and her mother and the recent Bears game to which we are both interested in, this was just 2 days ago. At first whenever she seen me it was like she had to leave as quickly as possible for whatever reason. She was never with another guy but with a girlfriend that we mutually know. I talked with this friend of hers who knows my ex well and she even asked her what the hell happened between you and Bob and she didnt even talk to her about it. Her friend said that she is even having a tough time getting her to come out just on a social basis to get her out. She seems to think she is in a state of depression because of all the things that happened with her asking me to move out because she still brings up how bad she feels about the whole thing. She even told my ex that she didnt have to bolt every time she shes me as I am not there to cause her any problems. Her friend said from what she gathers that she is not over me but is channeling her social agenda towards friends with whom she has no problem with conversation. Seen this first hand. Her friend is even confused as well as to what the issues are. She and I are concerned that Mary my ex is losing weight, very noticiable and she was told that she is not resting well. Her friend says she does not belive she is seeing anyone else and it seems that when I do see her she is with a female friend from work. I believe I told you that she moved to a second shift job which she says she hates but is stuck with it for another 2 months. I know I have been all over the map here but wanted you to evaluate the current situation. We still talk but infrequently however some communication exists. I dont run into her because of conflicting shifts except maybe on weekends. She showed up this past Friday at a place where I was and offered to buy her a drink. She accepted but conversation was very minimal. Was there for about 2 hours when she left. Told her is was good seeing her. She texted me back and told me it was good seeing me as well but had to leave as there were a couple of guys who were bugging the crap out of her and she fended the off. She was with a lady friend from work and actually asked if she had ever introduced me and I said no so she did. One last thing when we did talk she asked me straight away, "I will know by your answer to this question if you are lying to me, when yyou first moved out and you knew where I was were you checking to see if I was with another guy?" I immediately answered yes. She said she was glad I responded that way because if I had said no she told me she would have known I was not being truthfull. Not sure after all this dialouge if this even makes any sense. Thank you,
Since our last correspondence the girl I was seeing has backed off as well with at least a reasonable reason why that is easily acceptable. My problem exists that for some odd reason I am having a very hard time getting the first woman off my mind. It was such a sudden thing and of course with no apparent warning signs. I have never been obsessed with a person like this and it concerns me only because I feel that I am a stronger person than this. I have never in my entire dating or relationship experiences let a woman get under my skin like this. I have never come across as a needy or clingy person to drive a woman away only supportive and a good companion. I am trying to figure out how I can get closure with this relationship. It has been suggested that I give her mom a call as we get along well. Who would know better than her. I cant seem to get the ex to even entertain talking with me simply to close things out period. I have been approached by a few of her friends and been told that this is a pattern of behavior she has shown since her divorce 12 years ago. Dont know why but when she dumps a boyfriend its like they simply vanish in her mind. Since I was the only one of many who actually lived with her it felt that the relationship was at a different level from the others. Her past boyfriends in my opinion probably just chalked it up to "oh well" got what I wanted and moved on. No harm no foul. This woman has got me all twisted up and I dont like this feeling. I need some coping mechanisms to help me through this. I guess I still have feelings for her and am trying to get past them without proper closure. I know this sounds pretty screwed up but this is my dilema. Thank you.