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Suzanne
Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience:  Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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A young female coworker says she has loved me for 3yrs. I am

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A young female coworker says she has loved me for 3yrs. I am older. She began hugging me, then kiss on the check. 4 months ago kissing on the mouth, now full oral kisses and biting on the lips. Calls me dad and says she loves me more than anyone in the world. I am confused. Is she really inlove with me and what does the intimate kissing open mouth indicate.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Suzanne replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for writing to Just Answer.

 

I think it is not likely that this is a true love relationship. The fact that she calls you Dad is actually rather concerning. She may have issues with her father that she is playing out with you.

 

You describe her actions, but not your own. Just because she wants to kiss, etc. doesn't mean you have to go along with it if you don't feel that you love her. While I'm sure its very flattering to have the attentions of this young girl, I'm struck by the fact that you didn't mention how you feel...other than confused.

 

One other thing to consider...in this economy, jobs are hard to come by for many people. If this behavior is reported to management, you could face a sexual harassment charge if she gets mad at you and decides to report the inappropriate interactions.

 

The intimate kissing open mouth indicates that she is trying to get you to go further. But unless you feel there is a real future for the two of you, I would strongly urge caution. And again, her calling you "dad" is very odd. Be careful with her.

 

I hope this gives you something to think about and some direction. Please click ACCEPT if this has been helpful. If you need more info, just ask.

Suzanne

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I do feel a lot for this person. I believe that I actually do love her. It's like we had bonded in a special way for over 3 years. We had mutal feelings, that niether one of us were able to express. She brought this to the forefront and afterwards so did I. We love to be around each other and I must admit that there is a true sense of longing when we are apart.
Expert:  Suzanne replied 3 years ago.

 

Thank you for "filling in the blanks". This is a very different picture.

 

Given that you both have attraction for one another...the things to consider are:

 

How much do you know about each other, aside from a physical/emotional attraction?

 

Calling you 'dad' still seems a little "off" to me...unless its an inside joke between the two of you because of the difference in your ages. Please be sure to ask her about her relationship with her father before going too much further.

 

And about that age difference....10 years or less is usually no problem for a couple to work out. More than a ten year difference means there is a generational difference as well. That can make things harder, but not impossible. If you share similar interests, this too can be worked out.

 

It may sound odd, but music often becomes an issue in relationships where one is much younger than the other. Find out what kind of music she likes and think about whether you could stand listening to it for the rest of your life.You didn't tell me your ages or the spread of the difference...and I'm taking the "dad" reference as an indication that the difference is significant.

 

 

It may be time, if there is no danger of either of you losing your jobs by getting involved, for you both to admit you're in a relationship...unless, of course, there's more to the story and one or both of you is married or in a committed relationship....

 

I hope I've given you something to think about.

Please click on ACCEPT if I have. If you need more info, just ask.

Best Regards,

Suzanne

 

 

 

Suzanne, Therapist, LCSW
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 919
Experience: Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
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