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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I am seeing a man who has a 4 yr old son and who has been legally

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I am seeing a man who has a 4 yr old son and who has been legally separated for a year (BTW I WAS NOT the cause of the marriage breakdown). I myself have been divorced for 6 yrs and have two children. My bf wants to go to a family wedding of a member of his exes' family because his son has been asked to be a page boy, originally the ex wasn't going because she had other commitments but it now transpires that she is going, not only is he up there for said wedding because it is some distance, but he has been invited to stay for further celebrations the following day. Am I being emotionally immature to feel unhappy about this? I do not subscribe to the 'let's all pretend a split hasn't happened' school of thought, and whilst I believe in being civil and peaceful about things I do feel that my feelings are being disregarded - but I know I am a bit insecure as they were together for 20 yrs and our relationship is relatively new. He tells me it was dead in the water long before we even met and that he loves me more than he ever loved her, I think he thinks I don't trust him, it's not that, I just think it's inappropriate. For Mothers Day this year he took her and his son out to lunch. Am I just being old-fashioned and getting in a tizz about nothing or is he exprecting too much? Your opinion please?!

Good Morning,

 

You may be expecting something out of him which he is not able nor ready to provide you with at this time (100% attention) If you truly are feeling insecure, that is something internal that you would want to work on (he alone will not be able to change in for you)

 

Him being civil with his ex and going to a family member is not inappropriate. He can still have some contact with people had had know for such a long time (20 years)

 

What you really would want him to do is to define some boundaries with his ex that you are comfortable with. Going to lunch for mother's day with her may be a bit odd. His separation is still new to him and you are doing well in exercising some caution in your own response to his behavior.

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