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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Hello I am afraid of love cause of my past relationships.

Resolved Question:

Hello I am afraid of love cause of my past relationships. Ive only had 2 serious relationships which ended bad. The first one was back in high school over 10 years ago. She had me in eating out of her hand. That girl broke up with me about 5 times and every time i went back. The second girl was a best friend who was married. We had an affair going for three and half years. She left her husband for me only to go back. That girl hurt me the worse. I moved from state to state for her. I believe in my heart that im not meant to be happy. I would tell myself i would rather die alone than take the chance of getting hurt again. I didnt date for 4 years cause i am scared. I started seeing someone for a couple of months now and my feelings are strong for her. When things are going good, i get scared or something and shut down my emotions. I dont feel anything for her and no longer want to be with her. I know its in my head but what do i need to do?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

You may not be afraid per se of love but of what consequences a relationship may lead to (when things get bad)

 

Your prior two relationships may not be what you ought to base your future expectations on. During the first relationship, you were quite young and inexperiences. The second relationship seems to have been a wrong choice from the start (you took a chance being with her and doing what she wanted (she was married)

 

It is not the dating or the love that you are anxious about. These can be remedied if you chose a compatible, uninvolved person who has the same interests and goals as you. Falling in love is not too hard. People can become infatuated fast. What keeps a relationship going is the common things you find in one another and how you treat each other.

 

Feelings originate in the mind. You feel what you tell yourself. If you mentally shut down, then you become emotionally numb. Instead, focusing on the positive things when you're with her, focusing on the present moment and not entertaining future problems would be where you want to start.

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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