How JustAnswer Works:
  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.
Ask Dr Rossi Your Own Question
Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Dr Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hello, I am a 23-year old recent college graduate who just

Customer Question

Hello, I am a 23-year old recent college graduate who just moved across the country with her boyfriend of 6 months from college. We have a very close relationship and had been friends for some time before we started dating, and most of our friends are mutual ones. In April I found out that my boyfriend invited another girl, also his friend (but not mine) out to a private lunch and then lied to me about where he was- he didn't exactly lie, but he didn't tell me. When I confronted him, he said he didn't tell me because he knew I would worry about it at the time if I knew and it was just a friendly lunch. I forgave him but I am having a hard time forgetting the incident, and my insecurities are amplified by the fact that she lives a few hours away from where we just moved in California and is constantly contacting him on our social networks. Are my jealousies and fears irrational? How can I deal with my feelings, either on my own or with my boyfriend? How can I ever fully trust him again, especially if he goes on business trips near this girl's town in the future? If he is going to the trouble of having lunch with this girl when he is in a relationship with me, does it mean he is at least somewhat interested in her?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Evening,

 

Omission if information is something to be concerned about. Of course, unless you have prove that something more is going on, for the time being try to just observe and keep your guard up. Ask him how would he feel if you did that and if he can see your point of view.

 

The insecurity is something internal. He can not make it better or worse. It is something that you have to control (you already realize that it is problematic for you. Monitor your negative thoughts or anxiety. If you seem clingy or too insecure, he may be turned off.)

 

Men can have female friends. You may want to figure out what do the two have in common, what is his motivation to seek her company, etc. Having lunch is not an indicator of romantic interest (it also depends on what kind of place they ate at. Some fast place joint or a upscale restaurant)

 

Related Relationship Questions