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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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Hi, I broke up with my ex. 4 months ago. And we havent talked

Resolved Question:

Hi,

I broke up with my ex. 4 months ago. And we havent talked since, however through fb, he puts up pictures of us, and stuff that has to do with me, so i kinda see that as a sign of him trying to get my attention (maybe im wrong?). I think i have moved on well from the whole situation, im out more with friends, been on a couple of dates, and just taking everything in a more positive state. HOWEVER, i do catch myself thinking about him when im at home, and i do miss him kinda, and want to see him, eventho i know i shouldnt. I just dont know how i should take the feeling of missing him.

Would appreciate your thoughts!
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

The feeling of missing him is quite neutral. You are still getting used to the fact that you are no longer a couple. Him posting pictures of the two of you is also sending some mixed messages.

 

You have to remember what caused the break up. Focus on that decision you've made and the causes for it (something had told you that things were not working out) You do not want to sabotage yourself.

 

When you start to think about him, try to direct your attention onto something totally different. The thoughts are something you have control over. Try to think about the reasons for splitting and then observe your thoughts and let go. Just try to stay mindful of when you think about him (you said when you are at home. If you are bored, lonely, tired, then do something to take your mind into another direction) Reprograming your thoughts is possible.

 

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt (Paperback - Sept. 5, 2006)

Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
What i dont understand is why he keeps putting up the pictures and stuff..

And its not only when im home alone, but pretty much many of the nights before i go to sleep.
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

That may be something he is doing on purpose (to see your reaction/revenge/remind you of himself, etc) The speculations can be many. Only he would have the answer. Ask him (or if you are not comfortable, let him know you would not want your pic posted)

If you are alone before you go to sleep, you have that window of time open to think about stuff (thinks you need closure on)



Edited by Dr Rossi on 7/3/2010 at 4:29 PM EST
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
No i think that im scared of hearing the answer, i always have a hard time not forgiving him when im next to him. So id better stay away...

But how is it that im still thinking about him before i go to sleep? Eventhough i believe myself that i moved on well..
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.
People may think about things that they need resolution of prior to bed time. It allows the brain to come up with a decision during sleep (the subconscious mind is receptive to information, which you are not when you're awake) Going to bed is also a personal/intimate time. This may be a time when you're reminded on some level of the time you've spent together in bed.
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Ok thank u, have a great day!

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