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Anna
Anna, Social Worker
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  29 years experience in addictions & mental health. I'll tell you my honest opinion.
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My fiancee complains that we dont have sex enough. I agree

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My fiancee complains that we don't have sex enough. I agree that we don't so it as much as we used to but I feel like I am missing so many other things in the relationship to focus just on sex. He doesn't help me with laundry or house work. We work different shifts so we don't get to spend a lot of time together and when we do he isn't very affectionate. I always feeling like I am talking to a wall because even when we are getting along he doesn't communicate with me the way that I feel we need to. He complains that I don't wake up in time to make him breakfast every morning before work and I just feel like he takes for granted everything that I do, slams me for what I don't do and expects me to have sex with him all the time
HiCustomer

You sound like a couple that has been married for 10 years already. What you're describing is the most typical situation that any couple's counselor sees, and people divorce over as it escalates over the years.

The way out of it is communication and respect. Sex will make him want to contribute more, communication and cooperation will make you feel more intimate and then sexy. Someone has to give in first, and I suggest it be you on an experimental basis. Sit down and make sure that he hears what you're saying and that this problem will disrupt and derail the relationship if you both keep in this stand-off. Agree to both move in closer to the middle

Some guys can do this, others can't. If he can't, then marriage will only make it 100% worse, and I wouldn't go there. If he's not getting it and isn't willing to learn how to meet you in the middle with words and deeds, then he just isn't marriage material yet. You've got to respect yourself and know that you're not asking for too much...you're just asking for the basics of human interaction.

Anna
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Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you so much. I always tell him that I think that I am not asking for too much. I see small efforts every once in a while but it never seem consistent. I will try to be a little more spontaneous, but like you said, only as a trial run. I am hoping that he sees the difference and is willing to give me more of what I feel that I need in our relationship. Thank you!

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