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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1761
Experience:  PHD LPC
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Ive been married for 38 years even though my husband has been

Customer Question

I've been married for 38 years even though my husband has been cheating. I've stayed this long because of my children but now they are 24 & 25 and in graduate/medical school. Now my husband knows that I know about his cheating and has begged me to stay and says he wants to do right and make the marriage better. I don't think I will ever trust him and I'm not sure I want to stay married. How can I figure out what to do?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.
HI, the best way to find out is to get into therapy and explore the reasons other than the children that you stayed in the marriage and what it is you want to do for the rest of your life. You have sacrificed yourself enough. If he wanted to do "right" he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place.
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Dr. Keane, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1761
Experience: PHD LPC
Dr. Keane and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I am still in this marriage and now I have another problem. My husband wants to re-hire a female employee(licensed funeral director) who he was infatuated with. Bought her jewelry and other gifts and gave her money when she was employed by him from 2002 - 2010. He says they never had an affair but it definitely was an emotional affair on his part. Although he says it is my decision on whether or not to rehire her, I know he really wants her back. He is a funeral director and owns 2 funeral homes and I work in the business office. We live in a rural area and licensed funeral directors are hard to find (good ones) and currently we are unable to travel very far because of being short-handed (only day trips). We have been married 40 years and I have sacrificed a lot for this business and marriage. I guess I am just afraid to leave because I have no relatives that live close by and I love my home. The truth is I will never trust my husband again but I don't know what to do. Any advice?

Thank you.

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: Other.
not answered by Dr. Keane
Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 4 years ago.
Hi, I'm a Moderator for this topic. I've been working hard to find a Professional to assist you right away, but sometimes finding the right Professional can take a little longer than expected.

I wonder whether you're ok with continuing to wait for an answer. If you are, please let me know and I will continue my search. If not, feel free to let me know and I will cancel this question for you. Thank you!
Customer: replied 4 years ago.


Yes, am ok with waiting for an answer. Thank you.


 


Joyce

Expert:  Josie-Mod replied 4 years ago.
Thank you for your continued patience. We will continue the search for a Professional for you.
Expert:  KansasTherapist replied 4 years ago.
I can only imagine how difficult it would be to regain trust in a man who has cheated for so many years. I see a few options. One is to stay in the marriage, even though you don't trust him, and go on living your life as you have been. This would probably mean hiring the woman wouldn't matter one way or the other. Another choice is to decide to give your husband another chance, and do your best to trust and believe in him. In that case it would seem like pressing your luck to hire the woman. A third choice is to leave him. There would be a number of difficulties in doing this but it would have the huge benefit of freeing you from a very unfulfilling relationship.

Could you see yourself doing any of these things?

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