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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
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I have been dating this guy for almost 8 months. I am divorced

Resolved Question:

I have been dating this guy for almost 8 months. I am divorced and he is going through a divorce. Our stories are very similar in the fact our spouses wanted out. Things have been going great until about 2 months ago. 2 months ago he told me he needed some space because he had to find a place to live because he was loosing his house, he has 2 children that are 7 & 5 and has visitations with them and then his dad ended up having heart surgery. At first this was difficult for me because I thought it was something that I did. I gave him some space and now he is telling me that he is not even sure if he wants to be in a relationship and he truly doesn't know how he feels about me. I do have a problem with talking our relationship to death because of my unsettled feelings of our retlationship. I want to know where I go from here. I want this to work out as I feel we can have a long lasting relationship.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

His need for some time to sort things out is reasonable (considering the stress a divorce places on someone)

His statement that he does not know if he wants to be in a relationship is somewhat odd. He was already in a relationship with you. Perhaps he feels burned out from the whole divorce ordeal and thinks that getting closer to you would result in another disappointment.

 

Let him know that you would like to explore your options, you're willing to take things at the pace that he is comfortable with at this time. Point out to him the things that made you both happy during the last 8 months and ask him why would he want to give that up?

 

It seems that he is afraid of another commitment (the two of you do not have to rush into anything) so maybe you putting it to him this way could let him see the logic of giving the relationship a chance. Try to find out what his short term prospects are of the relationship (where does he see it going in the next 6 mo-1 year)



Edited by Dr Rossi on 6/11/2010 at 12:56 PM EST
Dr Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.
Dr Rossi and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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Dr Rossi
Dr Rossi
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Certified Hypnotherapist, Author, 13+years of experience.