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The advise would be not to give in to his manipulative behavior. Set some limits with him (whether it is not doing his laundry, cooking, sexual intimacy, silent treatment, etc) Do something that makes you happy, get a new hair do, a new dress, etc. and let him wonder about what is going on with you (and start to pay you more attention)
If he continues to be stubborn, involve another close family or a friend to have an intervention for him.
If you have spoken to the woman on the phone (She should get the clue to stop with the inappropriate calling) You've already talked to him (it does not seem like its working) Change your tactics. He is doing what he wants to do and it does not seem that he is considerate of your needs. Instead of letting him know how much this is upsetting you (he already knows and had not stopped the communication with her,) exhibit confidence, care free attitude and independence (maybe go for a day to visit a girlfriend, schedule coffee meeting with a friend and do not give him an explanation of where you're going and whom you're meeting with)