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Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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I was dating someone for almost 4 months. Things went well

Customer Question

I was dating someone for almost 4 months. Things went well until we had 2 or 3 arguments. He introduced me to his parents and his coworkers. We are both divorced, I am a single parent but he does not have any kids. A few weeks ago, he said he was confused, did not know what he wanted and was not sure about being in a relationship. We talked for a while and agreed to try out things slowly. However almost 2 weeks ago, he called me and said he did not want to be in a relationship, that he tried to, but that things were not working. I have deep feelings for him but I still agreed with the breakup. I am simply heartbroken. We became friends, could talk for hours and had a great time every time we were together. I have not heard one bit from him. What went wrong?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Jennifer replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com!

It's impossible to know for sure. Perhaps he's not wanting to be in a committed relationship or maybe he realized there were qualities in your relationship that he didn't want. You could always ask, but know that it would not likely change anything and you may not get a truly honest answer. Better to realize that this was not a relationship that was meant to be. If it was, you would still be together. You deserve someone who loves you back. Think about what you learned from the relationship (we learn something from all of them). There are qualities you liked about it that you'll know to look for in the future. Perhaps there are also qualities you didn't like and know you want to avoid those. Spend some time doing the things you enjoy (be with family / friends who make you feel good) and try to move forward by getting involved in something new (volunteer work, new hobby, etc.). It will feel good to do some personal growth. You may consider doing some journaling as well so that you can reflect upon the feelings you're having through this experience. I'm sorry you hear you're feeling so heartbroken and hope you feel better soon!
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
Jennifer and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

The break up was cowardly done over the phone. I do not have closure. He is not a bad person but knows I am upset and hurt. I still have strong feelings for him, but will not reach out after he said: "I don't want to be in a relationship." He also said he cared about me and had feelings but did not know what he wanted and was extremely hard for him to break up. To add to the confusion, his ex wife had been calling him for several weeks saying she wanted him back. He said he did not love her anymore and reconciliation is not an option so he avoided her.

 

I have respected his decision but is eating me up inside. It's been two weeks and he has made no contact. We used to go to church together every other Sunday. I have gone out of my way to avoid him by attending at different times. Should I simply go this Sunday at the same time and risk running into him? I feel like I've been hiding and is getting uncomfortable. I don't think I did anything wrong but I keep punishing myself.

 

I initially thought if I gave him time and space maybe he'd come around and give it a fair chance. After two weeks, I don't think that is the case anymore but still have a slight hope. What would you do in my situation?

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Relist: It is not that I was not satisfied. It was the timing. I was hoping to get a response sooner. I replied but I am still waiting for a response on it. Thank you!.
It is not that I was not satisfied. It was the timing. I was hoping to get a response sooner. I replied but I am still waiting for a response on it. Thank you!

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Jennifer
Jennifer
School Psychologist
320 Satisfied Customers
Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.