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Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Extensive experience fostering family relationships through consultation / counseling.
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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 18 months now and we

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 18 months now and we have started doing long distance. we broke up for uni but got back together after we both realised we wanted to give a try. In the period we weren't together i slept with two other guys to help me get over them. I told him because i wanted to start the relationship honestly again. We were fine until he called me the other day and said that he wanted to experience other things. He felt that I had done so before and now he wants to. He says when he goes out with the rugby boys he feels like he wants to experience things too. We talked for ages and he cried for a lot of it saying he missed me and wanted to be with me and that he was glad he shared that with me. I told him, i wasn't going to stop him if he wants to experience things. Since that talk, our texts have been minimal and then he stopped texting. Its been 2 days now. SHould i text him?? im confused- he says he loves me but doesn't seem it anymore. Can you help please?
Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com!

It sounds as though he's made it clear that he loves you, but he's not looking for a committed relationship at this point. I don't think texting him will sway this decision one way or the other, so if it would make you feel better, go right ahead.

Will you visit anytime soon?? A conversation down the road about whether he's happy with this decision would be best in person. Perhaps at some point he'll decide he's ready to commit to this relationship after all. In the meantime, you deserve to be with someone who isn't interested in anyone except you.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thank you for the advice, Its been helpful knowin he doesn't want a committed relationship at this point. Thing is, i dont know what is a appropriate to text him?? I dont want to come off as needy.

I am thinking the worst that he has cheated on me and with me being in the middle of exams i know this will have a negative impact on me and the way i perform. But it would be nice to know hes still around. I Just have a feeling i maybe chasing and upsetting myself over something that just isn't there.....
With exams going on, I do think you should try to put this on hold... When you're done with exams, you can revisit the situation and avoid the risk of letting it be too distracting. At this point, just hold on to the fact that you have a life separate from him that deserves your attention right now.

When you're able to devote more time to this (without risking the possible negative impact), go ahead and text him. I'd keep it simple -- "How are you? Hope things are going well!" is easy, appropriate, and lets him know you're just thinking about it and wondering how he's doing. His response will guide whether or not to continue the conversation. I do think at that point you'll want to consider the fact that this person isn't the one for you at this point -- the fact that he's made it clear he's not wanting a commitment tells you all you need to know. If the point of the text is just to keep in touch with someone you care about, I don't see any harm in that. However, if you think you may be dragging out something that only makes you feel bad, why do it?
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