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Dr.G.
Dr.G., Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I met this man on Match.com & we really connected. We started

Customer Question

I met this man on Match.com & we really connected. We started going out over a month ago. For some reason, I felt really comfortable with him and revealed alot about myself to him: the fact that I was raped 10 years ago, the fact that I struggle w/ anorexia & depression. He seemed so sympathetic & understanding. I think I've really fallen for him. We even got very initimate very fast (though I haven't slept w/ him yet). However, 2 weeks ago he called me up & said that he didn't think we should continue. He was kind of freaked out by all my problems, as he has many issues of his own. He suffers from anxiety & panic attacks. He was married for 15 years & got divorced 2 years ago. I don't think he's quite over that yet. He told me that he has strong feelings for me & is attracted to me, but he is afraid of hurting me, as he thinks this will not work out in the end. But, I don't agree. I just want him to give us a chance and see where this can go. We still talk. What should I do?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr.G. replied 6 years ago.
I think your issues and the speed at which the relationship is developing might be too much for him. Obviously you and him want to be working on each of your issues so that it is not baggage the two of you are bringing in to the relationship. You can reassure him you are working on your issues and getting help; if indeed that is what you are doing. That will help ease his mind. As far as the progression of the relationship, he wants it to slow down. So if you want a fighting chance at a relationship with him then you need to slow down to. I wouldn't say don't have any contact, but just go at his pace. If he wants to talk on facebook then do so. Listen to what he wants and see if you can accommodate him or not. If you can't give him what he wants then you have to find someone you can.

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